Charlie Chaplin once said, “A tramp, a gentleman, a poet, a dreamer, a lonely fellow, always hopeful of romance and adventure.” He lived in a time of class, a time where there was still hope for the manners that built relationships and the respect for others that so frequently evades us in modern society. What we once defined as a relationship, as a marriage, or even as dating has far since changed since the era of suits, ties, and fedoras. Break-ups and divorce are so common that they border on cliché, and the time and effort we once saw put into your significant other, is now put into the image you present to those that have nothing to do with your relationship. If your social circle does not accept your behavior, you either change your behavior or you lose your social circle. There is no hope left in a world that uses this as the basis for their feelings towards others.

So I ask, what is the harm of being a gentleman? Why do men (and I use that term "men" lightly) enjoy treating others with disrespect, especially women? To demonize others, act as if they are more important than others, proves just how small, how pathetic and how unworthy you are to carry the title of a “man”. Society has attempted to shape men as individuals required to case themselves in a hard exterior, and they must act in a way that diminishes the role of women in society. I can without a doubt say that women have a harder role to fill in our world than that of men. Not just because they have been supplied by less opportunity, but because when those opportunities present themselves, they are usually required to fill them better than men. To work under those conditions is something that proves men need to humble themselves a great deal before they can truly understand women. In the face of adversity, the simple things can make all of the difference. So be the man that they want to spend time with, rather than all the other guys they’re forced to spend time with.

One must hold the comfort of others above their own. You must be generous and tolerant, willing to care for others when times are rough for yourself. When you make the effort, when you practice the feelings that you hold within, you become enlightened, and others appreciate you that much more. Holding the car door open, buying her flowers, listening. When you are present in the moment, the moments can continue to happen. You do not need to work hard to be with someone, or work very hard to earn the title of a gentleman. It simply takes the effort of caring. Women do not ask for much. They ask to be treated like normal humans, not incapable or weak, but strong and hopeful. Be a man that can recognize that women may be smarter than you, stronger than you, more athletic or more successful. That is the mark of a true gentleman. To humble yourself enough to see others in a light they have never seen themselves in. Then you must pray that you find somebody that sees you in that light as well.

I am not attempting to say that I am an expert. No man is an expert on women. Women are much more complex than any one of us can understand. Yet there is one thing that every one of us need to understand. There are so few that act like true men. Therefore, once you begin to stand out, once you begin to separate yourself from the other idiots and barbarians that have to prove why they are men, the more easily it is for women to recognize you as the ones they want to spend time with. Be kind, be humble, be a gentleman. And women, learn to differentiate between the “men” and the gentlemen.