Getting to know someone can be so exciting and mysterious.
You start talking and find common interests and slowly start hanging around one another more and more.
You develop a friendship with one another which grows deeper than just communicating.
You go on dates and become each other’s “people.”
You communicate with one another more than anyone else.
And so goes the question that all your friends ask, “Are you official?”
I never really understand that question when people ask me.
Are we exclusive? Yes.
Are we dating only one another? Yes.
Are we going on “actual” dates? Yes.
But are we official?
Social media dating seems to be all the rage. You make relationship statuses and announcements, take photos with one another and make it known to the world that you’re happy in your “relationship”.
The question remains, though, can you be happy without a Facebook official, publicly acknowledged relationship?
My answer is YES.
Labels are relative.
I don’t think they’re even for us.
They’re for everyone else.
Sure, acknowledging your significant other is important, but will it all fall apart if you don’t put a status on Facebook?
When you decide to make it “Facebook official,” you are opening yourself up to everyone else’s judgment. You are allowing others to determine how they feel about your status and you are also opening yourself up to a world of hurt if it falters later.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to display your happiness and post a photo of your bae, but who are you doing it for?
It becomes about approval.
It can be attention seeking and deflective.
So many couples stop actually dating and switch to social media dating.
You interrupt your significant other to take a Snapchat, ignore them to upload a status about where you’re going, publicly tag them in statuses all day instead of calling them and can miss the conversation completely.
It’s OK to do those things every once in a while, but much has it taken over?
Do you need a Facebook official relationship or a label to prove you mean something to one another?
I can never really decide if I want I want to post things about dating on Facebook or not. I’ll introduce them to my friends, hang out in groups, invite them to meet different people, invite them to holidays, take pictures with them, but does none of that count if it’s not on social media?
I always avoid that weird conversation of, “So are we boyfriend and girlfriend?”
Honestly, it feels way too junior high and awkward for me.
Once I establish we are exclusive and only giving that attention to one another, I am good.
Who is the label for, if it’s not for me?
Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing happy couples on social media, we just need to remove it from our expectations of what is a real relationship or not.
What the hell is official?
If you need a label, grab a soup can.
You don’t need a social media status for it to be real.
And you don’t need people’s approval to be happy.
Put it on Facebook, avoid social media, who cares?
Just don’t put that expectation on me.
I don’t date for a timeline or for an expectation of getting married and having children and trying to keep up with my peers.
I date because I enjoy it and I enjoy the person I am with.
Why does it have to be an announcement?
Why does it need a label to be “official”?
What the hell does that even mean?!
If we’re both only seeing each other, then isn’t that kind of official?
Ya know, we’re both official humans, with official jobs and official bills to pay… it all seems legit to me!
Why don’t you let me decide what to do with my life?
I’ll call it whatever I want to call it, whenever I want to do so.
Maybe I’ll post about it, maybe I won’t.
The thing is, it is not wrong to keep things off social media.
It’s not wrong to keep your life private from the computer.
As long as you’re acknowledging your partner and they don’t feel devalued or ignored, you are good to go.
Date on social media. Or don’t. I don’t really care.
Just leave the labels in the spice cabinet and let me and that cute guy be.
I promise we are ALL gonna make it out OK.