Your Relationship Can Be Real Without Being 'Facebook Official'

Your Relationship Can Be Real Without Being 'Facebook Official'

Who is the label for, me or you?

Getting to know someone can be so exciting and mysterious.

You start talking and find common interests and slowly start hanging around one another more and more.

You develop a friendship with one another which grows deeper than just communicating.

You go on dates and become each other’s “people.”

You communicate with one another more than anyone else.

And so goes the question that all your friends ask, “Are you official?”

I never really understand that question when people ask me.

Are we exclusive? Yes.

Are we dating only one another? Yes.

Are we going on “actual” dates? Yes.

But are we official?

Social media dating seems to be all the rage. You make relationship statuses and announcements, take photos with one another and make it known to the world that you’re happy in your “relationship”.

The question remains, though, can you be happy without a Facebook official, publicly acknowledged relationship?

My answer is YES.

Labels are relative.

I don’t think they’re even for us.

They’re for everyone else.

Sure, acknowledging your significant other is important, but will it all fall apart if you don’t put a status on Facebook?

When you decide to make it “Facebook official,” you are opening yourself up to everyone else’s judgment. You are allowing others to determine how they feel about your status and you are also opening yourself up to a world of hurt if it falters later.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to display your happiness and post a photo of your bae, but who are you doing it for?

It becomes about approval.

It can be attention seeking and deflective.

So many couples stop actually dating and switch to social media dating.

You interrupt your significant other to take a Snapchat, ignore them to upload a status about where you’re going, publicly tag them in statuses all day instead of calling them and can miss the conversation completely.

It’s OK to do those things every once in a while, but much has it taken over?

Do you need a Facebook official relationship or a label to prove you mean something to one another?

I can never really decide if I want I want to post things about dating on Facebook or not. I’ll introduce them to my friends, hang out in groups, invite them to meet different people, invite them to holidays, take pictures with them, but does none of that count if it’s not on social media?

I always avoid that weird conversation of, “So are we boyfriend and girlfriend?”

Honestly, it feels way too junior high and awkward for me.

Once I establish we are exclusive and only giving that attention to one another, I am good.

Who is the label for, if it’s not for me?

Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing happy couples on social media, we just need to remove it from our expectations of what is a real relationship or not.

What the hell is official?

If you need a label, grab a soup can.

You don’t need a social media status for it to be real.

And you don’t need people’s approval to be happy.

Put it on Facebook, avoid social media, who cares?

Just don’t put that expectation on me.

I don’t date for a timeline or for an expectation of getting married and having children and trying to keep up with my peers.

I date because I enjoy it and I enjoy the person I am with.

Why does it have to be an announcement?

Why does it need a label to be “official”?

What the hell does that even mean?!

If we’re both only seeing each other, then isn’t that kind of official?

Ya know, we’re both official humans, with official jobs and official bills to pay… it all seems legit to me!

Why don’t you let me decide what to do with my life?

I’ll call it whatever I want to call it, whenever I want to do so.

Maybe I’ll post about it, maybe I won’t.

The thing is, it is not wrong to keep things off social media.

It’s not wrong to keep your life private from the computer.

As long as you’re acknowledging your partner and they don’t feel devalued or ignored, you are good to go.

Date on social media. Or don’t. I don’t really care.

Just leave the labels in the spice cabinet and let me and that cute guy be.

I promise we are ALL gonna make it out OK.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Popular Right Now

20 Things That Happen When A Jersey Person Leaves Jersey

Hoagies, pizza, and bagels will never be the same.

Ah, the "armpit of America." Whether you traveled far for college, moved away, or even just went on vacation--you know these things to be true about leaving New Jersey. It turns out to be quite a unique state, and leaving will definitely take some lifestyle adjustment.

1. You discover an accent you swore you never had.

Suddenly, people start calling you out on your pronunciation of "cawfee," "wooter," "begel," and a lot more words you totally thought you were saying normal.

2. Pork Roll will never exist again.

Say goodbye to the beautiful luxury that is pork roll, egg, and cheese on a bagel. In fact, say goodbye to high-quality breakfast sandwiches completely.

3. Dealing with people who use Papa Johns, Pizza Hut, or Dominos as their go-to pizza.

It's weird learning that a lot of the country considers chain pizza to be good pizza. You're forever wishing you could expose them to a real, local, family-style, Italian-owned pizza shop. It's also a super hard adjustment to not have a pizza place on every single block anymore.

4. You probably encounter people that are genuinely friendly.

Sure Jersey contains its fair share of friendly people, but as a whole, it's a huge difference from somewhere like the South. People will honestly, genuinely smile and converse with strangers, and it takes some time to not find it sketchy.

5. People drive way slower and calmer.

You start to become embarrassed by the road rage that has been implanted in your soul. You'll get cut off, flipped off, and honked at way less. In fact, no one even honks, almost ever.

6. You realize that not everyone lives an hour from the shore.

Being able to wake up and text your friends for a quick beach trip on your day off is a thing of the past. No one should have to live this way.

7. You almost speak a different language.

The lingo and slang used in the Jersey area is... unique. It's totally normal until you leave, but then you find yourself receiving funny looks for your jargon and way fewer people relating to your humor. People don't say "jawn" in place of every noun.

8. Hoagies are never the same.

Or as others would say, "subs." There is nothing even close in comparison.

9. Needing Wawa more than life, and there's no one to relate.

When you complain to your friends about missing Wawa, they have no reaction. Their only response is to ask what it is, but there's no rightful explanation that can capture why it is so much better than just some convenient store.

10. You have to learn to pump gas. Eventually.

After a long period of avoidance and reluctance, I can now pump gas. The days of pulling up, rolling down your window, handing over your card and yelling "Fill it up regular please!" are over. When it's raining or cold, you miss this the most.

11. Your average pace of walking is suddenly very above-average.

Your friends will complain that you're walking too fast - when in reality - that was probably your slow-paced walk. Getting stuck behind painfully slow people is your utmost inconvenience.

12. You're asked about "Jersey Shore" way too often.

No, I don't know Snooki. No, our whole state and shore is not actually like that. We have 130 miles of some of the best beach towns in the country.

13. You can't casually mention NYC without people idealizing some magical, beautiful city.

Someone who has never been there has way too perfect an image of it. The place is quite average and dirty. Don't get me wrong, I love a good NYC day trip as much as the next person, but that's all it is to you... a day trip.

14. The lack of swearing is almost uncomfortable.

Jerseyans are known for their foul mouths, and going somewhere that isn't as aggressive as us is quite a culture adjustment.

15. No more jughandles.

No longer do you have to get in the far right lane to make a left turn.

16. You realize that other states are not nearly as extreme about their North/South division.

We literally consider them two different states. There are constant arguments and debates about it. The only thing that North and South Jersey can agree on is that a "Central Jersey" does not exist.

17. Most places also are not in a war over meat.

"Pork roll" or "taylor ham"... The most famous debate amongst North and South Jersey. It's quite a stupid argument, however, considering it is definitely pork roll.

18. You realize you were spoiled with fresh produce.

After all, it's called the "Garden State" for a reason. Your mouth may water just by thinking about some fresh Jersey corn.

19. You'll regret taking advantage of your proximity to everything.

Super short ride to the beach and a super short ride to Philly or NYC. Why was I ever bored?

20. Lastly, you realize how much pride you actually have in the "armpit of America," even if you claimed to dislike it before.

After all, there aren't many places with quite as much pride. You find yourself defending your state at all necessary moments, even if you never thought that would be the case.

Cover Image Credit: Travel Channel

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

'The Farewell' Brings An Asian-American Narrative To Hollywood

I've never imagined that a story like this would make its way to Hollywood, and it's definitely a welcome change.


The trailer for Lulu Wang's "The Farewell" was recently released. The film, based on Wang's own experience, stars Awkwafina as Billi, a Chinese-American woman who travels to China after learning her grandmother has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. "The Farewell" initially debuted at the 2019 Sundance Film Festival in January, and currently holds a rating of 100% on Rotten Tomatoes.

"The Farewell" is an exciting film for members of the Asian-American community, as it encompasses many of our own experiences in having family overseas. Having this Asian-American narrative portrayed in Hollywood is especially groundbreaking and important to the community. "Crazy Rich Asians" has received much well-deserved acclaim for its leap in Asian representation, but the film did not necessarily depict a completely relatable experience and was only one story out of many in the Asian-American community. There were aspects of the characters' cultures that allowed the Asian-American audience to connect with much of the film, but the upper-class narrative wasn't quite as accessible to everyone.

While "Crazy Rich Asians" portrays Asians in a way that is very much uncommon in Hollywood and American media in general and had a hand in helping to break stereotypes, "The Farewell" introduces a nearly universal first-generation American or immigrant narrative to Hollywood. In doing so, the film allows many members of the Asian-American community to truly see their own experiences and their own stories on the screen.

For me, the trailer alone was enough to make me tear up, and I've seen many other Asian Americans share a similar experience in seeing the trailer. The film reminds us of our own families, whether it's our grandparents or any other family living overseas. I've never imagined that a story like this would make its way to Hollywood, and it's definitely a welcome change.

"The Farewell," which is scheduled for release on July 12, 2019, depicts a family dynamic in the Asian-American experience that hits home for many, including myself. The initial critical response, especially towards Awkwafina's performance, is certainly promising and will hopefully motivate more Asian-American and other minority filmmakers to bring their own stories to Hollywood.


Related Content

Facebook Comments