I love reading. Whether it’s classic literature by Orwell, Lee, or Shelley, or modern literature by Rowling, Riordan, or Collins-- I love it all. Ever since I was a child, I have been a literature lover. It’s a great passion of mine. However, educational reading and the obligations it carries are what hindered my love for books. What was once a relaxing and fun-filled hobby has turned into a monstrosity of an activity; one marked by deadlines, due dates, frequent assessments, and ridiculous pacing procedures. Everything that once went into that enjoyable passion of mine has been replaced with unfavorable things that make my passion a living, breathing nightmare. The tension between the things I adore and the things I despise is too great, and I have yet to find a strong balance between the two. Without a balance, my passion is no longer a passion but rather a deep, deep hatred.
With reading, I am fulfilled. Every time I open a new novel, I get the whiff of the fresh page smell that so many great books have. After getting off the boat from Hogwarts, I arrive in District 12, into the world of Katniss and Peeta. I fly from Neverland, to the meatpacking facilities in Chicago. After travelling around the world for 180 days, I escape, into the world of Jean Valjean. The possibilities of my journies are endless. Reading opens up my world to the grand possibilities of life and beyond. It makes dreams become realities and realities become dreams.
Furthermore, I think a lot. Sometimes, I feel like books are the only things that understand my points of view. Nobody in my life agrees but then, boom! I open up that book I found in the teen fiction section of the township library and finally, I am understood. Another thing I love about books is that you can pick them up at your own convenience or whenever you are in the mood to read. That little stack of bound pages can be used in bed, at the beach, at a sporting event, at work, or practically anywhere else. It doesn’t require electricity or wireless connection. Just me.
Books are there for me when I need them and more importantly when I want them. Never do I feel pressured to pick up a book and dive into the adventure it has in store for me. Never do I stall for time so that I will not have to read. Never do I make excuses to get out of my passion. Why would I ever try to escape my passion? I love reading!
Ignore everything I just said. I hate reading. That is, I hate it now. I loved it before school ruined it for me. The objective of reading in school is to expose students to literature in hopes of creating a passion that will possibly carry them to a career or simply just a hobby that can last a lifetime. Reading in school has done the opposite of that for me. Whereas I would be elated to receive a new book at a younger age, I now dread being assigned a new book. Because no longer am I being assigned a book, but rather a book, 400 pages of annotations, a reading quiz every four chapters, multiple essays, various in-class discussions, guided reading questions for every chapter, and an absurdly long and difficult exam at the conclusion of reading the novel. And to top it all off, there is constantly a deadline, which usually consists of a three to four week period, in which to read the entire book. Where have all of the attractive and redeeming qualities of such a great passion gone then? The answer is, down the toilet with the entirety of my first love-- reading.
In my case, my passion and the obligations that go along with it are not harmonious whatsoever. The things that made reading so attractive for me- a sense of convenience, reading for pleasure, the ability to choose the books you read, and the freedom to pace yourself however you wanted- have been obliterated by the formulaic and systematic policies and curriculums of school. What was once a free activity that could be completed for leisure and enjoyment has been transformed into a hassle of an activity that I could very much survive without.
Overall, the balance between my passion of reading, and obligations that couple with reading for purposes other than leisure, is frankly nonexistent. In my eyes, it is impossible for a balance to be even fairly existent between passions and obligations, since any type of obligation is immediately hindering upon the ability of the passion to take its full effect on the person. Even one little reading quiz, essay, or guided reading question packet, turns my focus to something else that is not the book. Instead of enjoying a story of love and war, I am now worrying about carefully scanning Chapter Three for the answer to questions 16 and 18. And instead of spending time with my family on weekends, I am now locked in my room all day, trying to cram in the last hundred pages of "The Once and Future King." The assignments are endless. And the pain of slowly but surely losing such a longtime passion of mine is eternal.
In no way can passions and obligations coexist peacefully. They face off in a massive tug-of-war match around the clock, and the rope always leans in favor of obligations. Passions hold on for dear life, for without it, most, if not all excitement will be lost. Obligations are the enemy of passions, for the moment even one is imposed, the passion is affected and cannot function to the degree it did before. For me it was reading, but whatever one’s passion may be, any obligations take away from that passion and make it stressful, unbearable to some extent, and not enjoyable much of the time.
Reading will never be the same for me. It has been ruined for good because of the obligations that have grown to become a larger part of it than the reading itself. It is a shame that such a large and enjoyable part of my life has been lost to formalities that make it something more unfavorable and completely different than what it truly has the potential to be. So as for my opening statement, it must be tweaked. I loved reading. Once. Before obligation replaced passion. I hope that one day my love for reading will return, but with obligations in the way of my passion, that goal is impossible to achieve.
