It's been a mere 24 hours since the terrorist attack in Istanbul. I first came across the news as I was falling asleep late last night.
Today, instead of watching the news, I'm on Twitter. After all, Taylor Hall and P. K. Subban were just traded.
I don't mean to say that it's just another attack. It's another attack.
Inevitably, it isn't the last, either. Who knows when the next will be, though.
Perhaps it's the fact that the headline I saw on CNN was that it is very likely that the US will soon experience an attack like this, that I try to block out the news.
I wouldn't be surprised if 'attack' becomes 'attacks.' I don't want to be a pessimist, but it's hard to be an optimist right now.
Everyone always thinks, "it won't be me, it can't be me, it isn't me."
Until it is.
As I grow up, this ongoing thought becomes engraved into my mind.
I've always had a seed of anxiety when I walk into an airport/plane.
When I see a man with a turban, my hands become more fidgety, and my mind starts racing thinking, "it could be me. This could be the end."
When we get off the plane, and he hugs what I presume are his daughter and son, my heart skips a beat and I think of what a horrible human being I am for being so judgmental.
However, am I to blame? After all of those years being taught by the media that terrorists look one way or another, do I not have the right to be anxious, distraught, and upset? It is sad. I do not want to be like this.
I'm sure the man with the turban must know why Americans can't stop giving him uneasy and angry looks.
The seed that was planted in my head is growing. It is starting to give me headaches. I can't help but keep searching how many are dead and how many hospitalized.
This is so very real. I know that at any moment, this could happen.
As of Wednesday, June 29th at 11:46 PM EST, there are 42 people dead and more than 230 hospitalized.
This could happen to anyone, at any time. It is simply sickening.
More so, that whole "it won't be me, it can't be me, it isn't me," thought is becoming more likely of being a reality.
I never thought I would feel unsafe in what I was told growing up, 'The Greatest Country in The World.'
The US Government claims to being taking extra security measures at airports for the next little while. Why can't we take those extra security measures and make them permanent?
As proud as I am to be American, I'm worried about being American right now.
Prayers to those in Istanbul and the rest of the world affected by this tragedy.
