"When kids are 17, 18 and 19 years old they make mistakes."
When you read this quote, what mistakes do you think about? Maybe you think about that time you got into a fender bender and your parents getting mad, or maybe you recall that time you dyed your own hair and it came out really bad.
But when you read this, do you think about that time you or someone else raped someone?
We are at a crossroads in society when it comes to rape. There is tons of victim blaming and trivializing of this crime that people have come to the conclusion that rape is now a "mistake." We have all seen this type of statement from lawyers, defendants and their parents, judges, media and people in general so often lately. But this way of describing rape needs to stop immediately.
For the record, the Oxford Dictionary defines "mistake" as: "An action or judgement that is misguided or wrong." Now, let's be clear, if you take this definition and apply it to rape, you could argue that it is an action taken by the perpetrator that is completely wrong. But, the word "mistake" in our society, like I said at the beginning, has become very common. Since we use the word to talk about a variety of circumstances, this in turn, trivializes the serious act of rape.
Rape is a conscious decision that involves "forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against their will," according to Oxford Dictionary. Since this definition sounds pretty extreme to most people, they tend to not describe rapes in college as rape. Individuals say it was a mistake, or that everyone was drinking, or that she wanted it before she was drunk so it was acceptable to have sex once she passed out.
The solution to this issue is to remind everyone that rape is a violent crime that an offender chooses to do. When you stab someone with a knife, you are choosing to do so. When you rob a gas station, you are choosing to do so. Rape is a violent crime. When you commit the act, you leave the victim with physical, emotional and psychological damage and confusion. We must make sure that people are held accountable and punished for committing a violent crime.
This will only happen with our generation reversing this trend with education on the subject, constant communication about what we can all do to fix this and holding the media and the justice system accountable for the way they report these stories.
We need to show respect toward victims and make sure perpetrators are given appropriate sentences. As a society and government, we need to redefine, understand and create law that actually works. Because right now, too many offenders are walking away out of courtrooms and thus given the chance to do this again.
Reports by the respected organization RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) have showed that "perpetrators are often serial criminals." Out of 1,000 offenders, 370 of them already have at least one felony conviction, 520 of them will be released before their trial and 70 of them will commit a crime before their trial is over. These are startling statistics that could be an entire article in themselves, but they're stats that show the need to put violent offenders away.
Overall I would like everyone to think about it this way: Would you feel that rape is just a mere "mistake" if your mother, father, brother, sister, daughter, son, boyfriend or girlfriend was raped? Would you feel anger? Would you just let the offender go and harm someone else? Would you believe your loved one? If you would feel angry and automatically believe the close person in your life who was raped, why would you blame a victim you don't know? That random, innocent person is someone's brother, daughter or boyfriend too.
Rape is not a mistake. It is a conscious choice to harm someone in that moment, and for the rest of their lives. Period. We do not need anymore excuses or to hear anymore news stories that rationalize this behavior. Let's fix this together.
For more information, I encourage people to become educated and to take a stand by visiting:
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
Ending Rape On College Campuses
The UN's Website For Ending Sexual Violence
