Ariana Grande was recently sexually harassed when she was spoken about by a fan of her boyfriend (Mac Miller) in a completely inappropriate manner right in front of her face.
Now, one would think the appropriate response would be to shame the harasser, but apparently now, at the tail end of 2017 and after three and a half waves of feminism (the fourth is still happening), women still aren’t allowed to express their sexuality.
The notion that people are somehow entitled to someone else’s body because of their outfits or content or whatever else apparently still rings true. This is the attitude that breeds rape culture. This is the attitude that absolves the abuser of all blame and puts shame on the victim.This is the attitude that 90% of rapes to go unreported every year. This is the attitude that makes women want to bite the bullet and repress the awful memory instead of telling anyone because they know that because of their outfits, alcohol consumption, sexual history, and countless other reasons, they will not be taken seriously. This attitude is why one in five women in college are sexually assaulted, and one in three women are sexually assaulted in their lifetimes.
Let me break this down for you. Ariana Grande is comfortable enough in her own skin to wear little outfits. That does not mean that random strangers get a free pass to say or do disgusting things to her. She sings about sex. So what? She’s walking side to side because she’s been here all night and all day with a boy she gave her consent to. She wants a little less conversation and a little more touch-her-body with someone who has her consent. This should not be difficult. At all.
pop quiz: which of these women deserves respect?
answer: they both do.
The perception needs to change. The “she deserved it because ___” justification is not only offensive, it’s just plain scary. If you find yourself in that mindset, hopefully it’s not what you really believe, but rather what society has taught you. Even I used to share the “well maybe she shouldn’t be such a drunk slut,” mindset. I challenge everyone who thinks this way to stop and re-evaluate their position on this matter, because it’s doing far more harm than good, and is consistently perpetuating the idea that women have to adhere to specific demands in order to simply walk down the street without being harassed or assaulted.
Look. It doesn’t matter if someone is a nun, a go-go dancer, or if she literally bangs strangers in a hotel room for a living, you do not get to approach her out of nowhere and touch her/ grab her/ say terrible things to her, and if you truly believe that you do have a right to someone else’s body because of their outfit/ behavior/ blood alcohol levels, then it would probably benefit you to dig deep within yourself and find some compassion.
