It started when I ran from my classroom, mind buzzing about the research paper with a zillion required sources, and then about the ten-minute speech where a hoard of people will scrutinize me. I ran to my room, hoping to find some peace, but my book bag leered at me, planner oozing with unfinished homework and potential for failures and not-good-enoughs.
I’ve just finished a ten-page story and a discussion board and went to work and talked to like three people today, isn’t that good enough? I pleaded for mercy, but none came. So I threw my book bag on the floor, shut the lights off, and let out a sigh. But then people came in, wanting to talk, and my phone buzzed, begging for attention. I needed out, so I ran again—but everywhere I went, people flocked in, bustling with conversation and outrageous energy. They smiled so sweetly, elevating my guilt for wanting to leave, but geesh, can’t a person get a break? Can’t a person get away?
That’s when I finally figured out where to run. I went quite far, actually. I went to a place where I could watch people, but they couldn’t watch me back, couldn’t bother me. I went to a place with adventures that stole my mind from the homework and the stress and the responsibility, a place that left my mind buzzing with curiosity and interest. Where, might you ask? I ran away inside my book.
Okay, so I didn’t really run away, and I know I might sound silly, but hear me out. Life is going by at 100 miles an hour, and we’re all bogged down. We have work, school, relationships, goals…just life. And while all of these are great, giving us purpose and helping us serve God, they can also become overwhelming. For some people, an elixir for this stress might be spending time rejuvenating with other people, but for others, like myself, we need solitude, a complete break from everything and everyone. However, finding complete solitude is difficult and maybe not even an option. Living on a bustling campus or with a house full of people makes this necessity hard, if not impossible, to come by, but leaving is not an option either.
The alternative, though, is to continue letting the stress build, to let anxiety eat away at us, and to stop ourselves from being the best we can be. So, in a sense, we need to leave. We need to find a place where we can get a break from everything that’s going on. And not on some sort of social media, but a true separation from people and distractions. For some people it might be exercising, playing a sport, journaling, listening to music, etc., but for me, it is reading. When I read, I can temporarily leave my circumstances and find a sense of peace. I am not left drained or anxious, because in reading there is never an end or a failure. There are always more worlds to explore and more inspiration to find.
I can’t abandon my circumstances or toss away my responsibilities, but I can step in someone else’s shoes for a minute and return more life-filled and more at ease. I can temporarily run away, and there’s no consequences.
