Just recently I made the really tough decision to quit cheerleading. It had been stirring in my mind for a few days and I finally made the choice that in all honesty scared me. Now, I have only been a cheerleader for less than a month. It feels as though I’ve been working for years. Not because I am necessarily any good. I am just exhausted. I am physically, and emotionally exhausted.

I went into cheerleading with an open mind and guns blazing. I was ready to work my butt off and do my best. Never being a cheerleader before I was determined to prove to myself and my coach that I was capable. The first practice was great. I was learning quickly, and working hard to get the routines down. Next practice I showed up ready to learn more, and my coach piled on several new cheers to learn. I was stressed but ready to tackle it. Then she told me that I was behind and had to work harder. I thought that I had been working really hard and just needed a little time. Well, I didn’t have any time. We had a game the upcoming weekend and I was in no way ready to stand in front of a crown and perform.

Performing is in my blood. I’ve done theatre, choir, and I am good. This, on the other hand, I was not good at. I had fallen well behind my peers and hadn’t been able to catch up. My coach said if I didn’t practice and catch up I couldn’t cheer in the game. I was devastated. I practiced hard for the next three days and was able to be in the game. I was excited and nervous, but most of all ready.

When the game rolled around I was so happy to be there and proud that I had come so far. As the night went on I was cold, sore, tired, and my asthma was acting up. By the end of the night there were no remarks from the coach to us like, “I am so proud of you guys,” Or “wow you worked so hard” and to me, that didn’t make sense. Coaches are supposed to encourage you and praise you while challenging you.

The next week this stuck out to me even more. As we were practice, we got a lot of “that dance looks awful,” “work harder,” “start over,” “why aren’t you guys trying” and I understand that sometimes coaches need to push you, but this coach was always pushing and always dissatisfied with us. We all worked very hard while she sat back and watched and barked from afar.

I don’t want to put all the blame on my coach. She is great and has taught me a lot. Part of me quitting was the fact that I am just not athletic enough for cheerleading. Never having played sports before in my life I was shocked when every day I was coming home sore and tired. I was not used to pushing my body to such insane limits. Having asthma attacks nearly every practice just from running or stunting became physically tolling. After two asthma attacks in one practice and being pushed by our stunting coach much harder than I should have been, getting zero sympathy, or remark from my head coach, and the grueling pain I was putting myself through I decided it was time for me to go.

I realized after these crazy three and a half weeks that I am not athletic even one bit. Asthma and sports do not go together. I also learned that sometimes it is okay to try something out and decide it just isn’t something for me. I love football games and you can always find me cheering from the sidelines, but after 3 years of being in Colorguard in marching band in high school, and being a cheerleader in 1 college game, maybe it is time for me to take the bench.

Quitting something does not mean I am a failure. It simply means that I am not cut out for this sport. I decided to do what is best for me and my health and devote my time into something else. College is the land of opportunity and I can’t wait to find my next adventure. Hopefully is it something I can stick with.