I hate that I’m writing this article because I shouldn’t have to. I’m writing this article because I’m sick and tired of men, especially grown men acting the way animals in heat act. I’m sick and tired of men who feel the need to remark crude comments on the way I dress, my body type, my physical appearance.
I was harassed by two men, sitting outside their house, across the street from my local Walgreens. I was wearing a dress, I felt beautiful and I had just come back from taking photos with my friends. These two men decided to yell obscenities at me, and when I flipped them off with my middle finger, I was told I was an “ugly bitch."
A couple weeks before, I was waiting for the train in downtown Minneapolis, when I had two men whistle and tell me I was “lookin’ good”. Another time, a drunk man decided to start talking to me. Afraid of what would happen if I said no or walked away, I sat there uncomfortably quiet. When I finally got up to leave, he called me a “stupid whore” for leaving him. Another time, I was out in public with my friends, wearing a white crop top. A group of men decided to whistle and yell at me from across the street, instead of saying it to my face when I passed by them initially.
Do you understand how that makes someone feel? Like I am a piece of meat, out on display for everyone to take a look at and comment on.
For someone to have the nerve to say crude and disgusting things to someone that they don’t even know, but when I confront them, then I’m the nasty person. Then I become the stuck up person who can’t handle a compliment or “guys just being guys."
I’m so sick and tired of me having to pretend like I’m okay with a society that justifies and continues this cycle of hurt.
I’m tired of having my feelings and emotions tossed aside because “that’s just how society is."
I’m tired of no one sticking up and saying anything to those people who feel the need to catcall and hurl obscenities at a total stranger.
Tell a man no, and you might be killed, tell a man maybe and you’ll be harassed.
I’m an avid reader of a news journalism site called "Vice" and I can remember seeing comments on an article about catcalling, that had men explaining to women that some men were just shy and that they really meant it as a compliment! That us women were just being overly sensitive and that if the situations were reversed, lots of guys would be fine with it— so why can’t girls?
The fact that I sat there and read comments from real people, attempting to justify street harassment and protecting their gender because #NotAllMen do those kinds of things. I don’t care if not every single man harasses women, because it doesn’t matter. What matters is that it’s a majority of that group that decides to do those things.
Obviously, I’m not a misandrist and I don't hate all men, but it makes it hard for me to trust and believe that not all men do those gross actions, when it seems I can’t even go a week without some person saying those kinds of things to me or my other womanly friends. Just because maybe you as a person are not bothered by the harassment of other women, doesn’t mean other people are okay with it. I know that I’m not and I know that there are other groups of people, whether they be trans or cis, gay or straight, man or women, they feel uncomfortable and unsafe. Tell a man no, and you might be killed, tell a man maybe and you’ll be harassed.
The only thing I ask from those who have read this, especially men, to get out of this article is to live up to that #NotAllMen stance.
If you’re convinced that not every man does these kinds of things, then you better be on the frontline protecting women and standing up for those people who are harassing other people.
Show me and other women that it’s okay to live in this world and not be sexualized.
Show me that we can live in a safe world without being afraid to tell people what we do want or do not want.
Show me that I don’t have to be wary and clutch my keys every single time that a man decides to open their mouth and talk to me.
Show me that, that’s all I ask for.
