I thought I meant something, you told me I did, you told me the complete opposite to my face than what you wrote in that measly text message. You met my family, you got them to like you even, yet there you are, telling me the exact opposite of what you told them.
Why’d you lie to me? Why did you make me feel like something was going to come from this when you didn’t feel that way? All I wanted was your honesty and you lied to not just me, but my family and my friends. You try to make yourself sound innocent but those who know the truth know you’re not, they know how much effort I put into it, into you.
Was it all an act for you? Did you mean it when you held my hand or kissed my lips, or was that bullshit like everything else is seeming to have been? I don’t know what I meant to you and that frustrates the heck out of me. You told me something completely different to my face than what you wrote to me.
What changed your mind? Was it seeing me in the morning, fresh-faced, pimples exposed? Was it the fact that there are so many more girls with thinner waists, prettier faces, smarter than I surrounding you daily. Was it the way I am too loyal?
Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I would have preferred knowing you didn’t see a future before spending money on you, before adding hundreds of miles onto my already well-worn engine, before I started really trusting you before I cried in front of you before I let you in completely.
Why did you make me think it would all workout? I never really thought it would, but after a while, you were putting in more effort than I had ever had someone put in for me and I started to believe the hype. The hype was bullshit. You lied to my face, my family, my friends, only to reveal your true intentions when you were too far for me to do anything about it.
Why did you leave me without answers? You didn’t leave in silence and I appreciate that more than you know, but you left me confused. You told me the opposite of what you are saying now, all I ask for now is answers to these questions. Was it you realizing you can’t provide me with what I deserve right now? Because in that case, all you had to do was text me during the day, call me at night, and let me take care of the rest. Was it because I’m simply too much for you?
These are the questions people who leave us leave us with, and I want to tell everyone reading this, even though I don’t believe it about myself, you are worth the effort that person wasn’t putting into you, meaning you are worth more than they had to offer you which isn’t your fault. Hopefully, that person left with giving you an idea as to why, but that doesn’t matter, don’t worry your beautiful mind and soul over people who obviously won’t throw stones for you let alone try to move mountains. There is a reason God didn't want this to work out and it's that it either wasn't the right time or the right person, that doesn't mean to allow them back into your life the moment they ask, though. There is someone out there that's going to be willing to move Mt. Everest for you, and it's going to take a couple pebble throwers to find them.
