The day is finally near - the day we Longhorns get to return to the University of Texas for another semester filled with fun, stress, and burnt orange. However, before we return, it’s important to reflect on our previous semester. Through my own reflection, I came up with a few questions. Well, 46 to be exact.


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  1. Why do you hold tours for prospective students during finals week?
  2. Do you honestly think parents want to send their kids to a school where the students look miserable?
  3. Why does Java City in the PCL close at 10?
  4. Do you think kids don’t need caffeine after 10?
  5. Who decided which floors on the PCL were silent floors?
  6. Did this person have no sense of logic or did they think making the floors gradually quieter would be stupid?
  7. Why does our brand spankin’ new SAC have a Taco Cabana and a Zen?
  8. We really didn’t think about maybe putting in something edible instead?
  9. Is the Starbucks line in the SAC ever under half a mile long?
  10. Can you add a few more outlets in the PCL?
  11. Do you mind somehow making it easier to tell your friends where in the PCL you are? "Um, by the books and the tables" is not cutting it.
  12. Why do you sell parking passes when it’s impossible to ever park on campus?
  13. Why do your options for on-campus housing range from 3-star hotel to prison cell? Sorry lower floor Jester West kids.
  14. Is the rumor true that if a kid in your class dies during a final you all get A’s…?
  15. Why is nothing in DKR reasonably priced?
  16. What am I supposed to do with that little coin you sent me in the mail after I accepted admission?
  17. Who decided which side of the stadium would say ‘Texas’ and which side would say ‘Fight’?
  18. Did anyone ever realize how creepy The Eyes of Texas actually is?
  19. Are we really being watched all the live long day?
  20. At night or early in the morn?
  21. Can we really not get away?
  22. Why are you only lighting the tip of the tower lately?
  23. Do you know how magical it is to see the entire tower lit?
  24. Why is registering for classes scarily similar to the Black Friday shopping?
  25. Is Matthew McConaughey actually ever on campus?
  26. If so, where can I find him?
  27. Why are there stairs…everywhere?
  28. Who is the man that reads the bible every day on Guad?
  29. Can we play with his cute little puppy?
  30. How much trouble can we get in for swimming in the fountain?
  31. What makes Austin’s Pizza rolls so good?
  32. Will the construction on Speedway ever actually be finished?
  33. Will Tom Herman make Texas football great again?
  34. Who thought of the name Bevo?
  35. Going back to the stairs thing, how come none of my classes are ever on the ground floor?
  36. With all of these stairs, how is the freshman 15 still real?
  37. Is the albino squirrel actually real?
  38. If you see it, does it really give good luck?
  39. Did you make it impossible for left-handed students to use a desk on purpose?
  40. Where is that secret gate everyone takes pictures in front of?
  41. Why is catching the walk sign right away when crossing Guad nearly impossible?
  42. Why do you try so hard to make everything so "Austin?"
  43. I mean, is calling a dining hall Jester City Limits really necessary?
  44. Can you please stop harassing people when they don’t have their student ID past 10 pm in the PCL?
  45. Why do you consistently tell us to spend hundreds of dollars on textbooks and then never make us use them?
  46. But really, how are you so amazing?

SEE ALSO: If Disney Princesses Went To Texas Schools


Hook 'em forever.