Curiosity killed the cat, and it is going to kill any relationship you desire to have with trans folx. When you're told, "google it," its because the question you asked hits a little too close to home and it is not their job to teach you as they are not getting paid. Often, minority groups face a lot more trauma in their everyday lives than their privileged counterparts do.

1. Whats your "real" name?

"But why is this a bad question?" Some of you reading may ask. Here's why: names can be triggers. For trans folx, the name they were given at birth can be a reminder of a time in their life where they weren't able to be trans. And even further, it can be a signifier of people that have abused them in there life. At the very core, names are how we tell people who we are.

If someone asks you what your name is, and after you tell them says, "No, no, no, whats your real name?" How are you going to feel? Confused? Disrespected? When someone tells you their name, they are presenting a very specific self to you. You don't get to decide for yourself which version of each person that you meet, and this includes Trans folx.

2. But what "sex" are you?

Do you go around asking everyone this?

Because if you do, you should probably stop. It is incredibly invasive and not your business.

Do you really spend a lot of time thinking about the actual genitalia that people you will never have sex with have? Or do you approach possible sexual partners and ask them this as a precursor to flirting?

If you think it is your business to know what the physical genitalia in people's pants look like then you should talk to a therapist and seek psychologically counseling.

3. What do you have under your belt?

Same with the last answer, if you wouldn't ask your grandmother to describe the genitalia that she has to you, don't ask strangers on the street. If you are physically attracted to someone and worried about their genitalia being a turnoff, then you should reevaluate your sexual desires and be more open-minded to the kinds of sex that are possible for you.

4. Why don't you just keep using the name your parents gave you, it's just so pretty!

Again with the names! Nobody on this planet is perfect! Sometimes bad things happen to people. Names get changed for as many reasons as there are people on this planet. If someone changes there name, you don't 1) get to know why they changed their name and 2) get to tell them that they somehow made a "mistake" for changing their name.

5. Have you gone through "the surgeries?"

Oh, oh, ohhhhh. "The surgeries." First of all, there is no "set" of surgeries that every single trans person goes through as apart of their transitioning. Second of all, this is like asking someone: "So what do you have in your pants? A penis or a vagina?"

6. So if you're a trans man, and you like women, you're still gay right?

Right off the bat, gender and sexuality are different things! Wait, let's say it again! Gender and Sexuality are different things! We can break it down even further! Sexual Orientation labels like gay, straight, and lesbian, refer to a "same-sex" attraction which really means an attraction to people who exist within one gendered category i.e. they are monosexual labels.

Labels like bi, pan, or queer refer to attractions that are to people who exist within two or more gender categories. Transmen are men, so when transmen are solely attracted to women they might identify as Heterosexual. Don't assume anything.

7. Is being transgender the same thing as being a transvestite/Drag Queen/Drag King/etc.?

This is a perfect question for Google! And I'm serious! When you are trying to compare two identities in order to gain a better understanding of one of them, just Google it! It's a yes or no answer and there will always be supplementary information right there too!

Also, don't use the word transvestite, its derogatory toward trans folx.

8. What if you get the operation and change your mind after?

Fortunately for your curiosity, the process that it takes for a trans individual to undergo any form of surgery that may be attached to their transition experience often requires a ridiculous vetting process that will ensure that people who do transition medically, love every second of their self. At the end of the day, unless you're their counselor, its none of your business.