I have had sex, kissed and dated many men throughout my life. I know that I like men.
But, I also like women as well.
Growing up in a home with strict parents, that were Christian, made me always think negatively about couples of the same sex. They stressed how I was going to marry a man and have children, but I am not sure if I want that. I am a Christian, as well, and I do believe that regardless of my choices... God will still love me. My choices, beliefs, and views are not the same as everyone else's, but I do not see an issue with being attracted to both genders
I never imagined myself considering a woman as a potential partner - until I kissed one, well... more than one. I tend to get a little crazy when I go out and party. I literally consider everyone my partner when I am under the influence, literally. If you compliment me... well then you are my significant other, period. But, one time I had a girl ask me to kiss her. I was slightly intoxicated, but I knew what she asked. I knew she wanted to kiss, and there was this part of me that wanted to as well. I thought it was the alcohol for a while, I am not into girls - like seriously.
There was another time, that involved alcohol when a girl wanted to kiss. I was aware of what was going on and proceeded to do it. I began to think that the liquor was an issue, I mean a lot of girls do this kind of stuff when they are drinking... but was it truly the alcohol?
One morning I was going to college and the thought overcame me. Am I bisexual? Do I like both genders? I tried to shake the thought, change the music, roll the windows down - I did everything I could to get my mind right, but it wouldn't. I decided to dive into the thought and realized that this was not the alcohol, this was not the late nights, lack of sleep or whatever else I blamed these actions on. I was attracted to women.
There is something you find in women that you will not find in a man.
1. women wear really good lip gloss, so the lips are warm, soft and have the perfect consistency of wetness (I did not like how that sounded)
2. women are gentle. Women care about your feelings and can tell when something is off, instantly. I want someone to pick up a vibe without me even telling them what is on my mind. Women hold you with soft hands, touch your face in a soothing manner and they comfort you - especially when men are acting crazy.
3. women are beautiful and so unique. It is something about some thick thighs and a nice rack that will get my attention - yes men, we look too.
But, I also like my men - especially my frat boys. Men can handle me, my attitude and desires - I cannot just toss them out to the wolves.
I decided that I would become more open with my sexuality and see what happens. It is a scary thought of not being accepted by my friends, family, and others - but it is my happiness that I would rather focus on. I do not want my friends to ever feel uncomfortable about getting undressed in front of me, men thinking I am going to be down for a threesome, or judgment - but I also understand that this is something I could face.
I am questioning my sexuality & I am not ashamed.
