Putting Your Significant Other On the Back Burner

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” Dr. Seuss

The desire of wanting someone to complete you or feeling loved is a commonality that is dreamed of from a young age. We grow up in a society that glorifies love, for example, an entire season was created for getting into a relationship, "cuffing season" or even an over glorified day for celebrating it. I think sometimes we need to go back to the foundation of where it comes from to really create a successful relationship. Something I cannot reiterate enough the fact that if your heart is not content with it just being you and the Lord then YOU ARE NOT READY. People can constantly try to fill desires of the Lord with a relationship, but it takes time. It's not like God created a time slot for when everyone is ready like six months and three seconds after your last heartbreak, consequently healing with the Lord is a process that is different depending on the person. Once someone has truly proclaimed the Lord as their one and only does God bring love in their lives. Usually that occurs when they least expect it. Most of the time it's when people have given up on love for the last time or given hope of even finding it ever. Overall, it seems like God has a sense of humor with his promises, but in reality he desires all of your heart and until you are ready to sacrifice that he's not going to give you a true relationship.

So, he brought this super great Christian into your life, what now? This is where people usually begin the fall of their relationship already. They often do not take the time to truly pray over it or time to really get to know each other. Ironically, like mentioned earlier, this is another phase that is different with every couple some can instantly fall into place or others' need months of reassurance through prayer. How ever it may be just cause you share your faith together does not mean you truly know the person. If you don't know what their biggest regret is or wildest dreams are then it's time to pull on the breaks! Every relationship you are pursuing is potentially your future and you need to know what you're really walking into.

In this relationship your foundation must be built upon God, if they are not challenging you spiritually daily and helping you grow then it's time to call it quits. You must be dating someone who is as equally as yoked as you not constantly feeling as though they're dragging you down or vice versa. Your faith must be separate from their's. You cannot be missionary dating while the other person is growing and you are expecting to grow because of them. This relationship is a blessing from God and it must be glorified through him.

Finally to the meat of the reason I wrote this article... Is that it took fourteen year old Hope from her first relationship an ample amount of time to realize the importance of a pyramid of when it came to love. For the longest time I was just excited to be in a relationship and wanted to spend every second with that person. Then like every tragic love my future husband turned out to be my future ex and I was left alone. I had unintentionally cut out anyone I really cared about from before because I was so focused on my relationship. So began the creation of the pyramid because ultimately I needed my faith in the right perspective. The belief was if the right person came along they would blend into all of my priorities and it wouldn't become an issue.

God is the foundation of this pyramid and he takes up a good portion of my priorities, but then my other focuses always trickle down into it. Like a cake mix my relationship with God is the mix and other priorities are the ingredients to help make it sweeter. Consequently, family would come next because ultimately they have been there since birth and they kind deserve that right. Following that would be friends and school because those are the people who stuck around through every weird boy band phase, plus education is ultimately the bull eyes for my success. The very top with very little percentage left is your significant other. I know this seems unrealistic, but factor in your values to realize this person you love cannot consume you. You were your own beautiful person before them and now they just have to learn how to fit into that. A relationship should never be the entire puzzle, it should be that piece that fits perfectly.

Once you put that person on that little tiny mini burner that rarely gets used only for fondue, they will eventually start mixing with other burners. The right person God has for you to be with will mix perfectly with the broccoli representing your friends on the back side burner, but then eventually he will move to the front burner by encouraging your faith. Before you realize it this significant other who you tried so hard not to put before your friends or God just works with it all, but also has no problem sitting back to watch you shine.

Nevertheless, every creation of the Lord is different and who am I to say what is perfect. Although I do know when you start changing yourself, crying tears of fear, or altering your faith, then the heartache is not worth it. God never called loving someone to be easy, but it should never hinder you from being the beautiful creation God has paved for you to be.