When telling people of my plans for an ambitious, high-paced career, some people like to ask me about my plans for a family. Questions like, "Have you thought about how this will affect your future family?" or, "Shouldn't you put your time into a career that will allow you to spend more time with your kids and husband?" tend to come up. First off, let's get one thing straight: I'm not even dating anybody, much less thinking about having children at this point in time. I'm only 21 and live in an age where it's absolutely acceptable to want to build a life and career before building a family.
Second, I'm actually chasing this ambitious dream for my future children. That's right, as much as it's for me, it's also for my family -- present and future. What kind of sister, daughter, and yes, parent would I be if I preached the importance of following your dreams if I don't do the same myself? My whole life I've been told that I can do anything I set my mind to. Ever since my brother and sister were little, I've helped pass on the same message to them. Everything I do in school right now is to follow my dream of becoming a writer, such as sitting here at this computer and hoping that my words impact at least one of you. In fact, I switched my major a couple of times until I finally found the one I was meant to pursue. For the longest time, I let the "practical" and "realistic" people convince me that I needed to choose a pragmatic career that would guarantee me a good paycheck. Sure, I have interests in neurology and law, but those aren't what make me happy. They don't fulfill me.
It actually took a friend of mine realizing her dreams were coming true for me realize I needed to accept mine. God didn't give me this gift of words for me to waste it! Because life isn't a paycheck. It isn't practical. Everybody's reality is different and I realized that I couldn't allow my reality to be determined by somebody else. And this is a message I plan to pass on to my children should I ever have any. If I leave them with anything, I want it to be knowing that they are free to pursue whatever dream or ambition they have, no matter how lofty or seemingly unreachable (barring crime of course) they may be. I want to be an example and role model for my family, but how can I do that if I settle for a career I don't truly want?
Finally, family will always come first for me in the end. I will drop everything I'm doing for my family and that will always hold true. But I couldn't teach them to live a certain way if I don't do the same myself, or even attempt to do so. I like to live by the philosophy "lead by example" as much as possible. Of course, I'm not perfect, but who is? The reason pithy sayings like "stay true to you" and "follow your dreams" are so cliched is because they're true.
Life isn't perfect. But that doesn't mean we should be afraid to reach for what we want, because ultimately we'll be telling our own children to do the same. So are we going to give them this message from the safety net of a job we have little to no passion for or from a place of knowing that we gave it our best shot? So in answer to anyone questioning my judgement in concern to any future family I may have: Yes, I have thought about how this will benefit my family. And no, I will not settle. Follow your dreams. They were given to you for a reason.
