“Hey dude, let’s rape some girls tonight!” said some dude at a party.
Okay, seriously? Let’s just think about that. Was it a joke? Was it slang for “getting laid”?
Who knows, but what I do know was that it made me feel uncomfortable. As a 19 year-old college girl, there are a LOT of things that I have to worry about.
I have to worry about:
How many times I say no/ having the ability to say no.
Being alone- anywhere, anytime.
Walking at night.
What I wear.
How much I drink.
Being around “too many” guys.
Men I don’t know.
The “signs” I put out while flirting.
What’s in my drink.
Who hands me my drink.
Any of those examples could be viewed as a “cause” of rape. One in six American women have been the victim of attempted or completed rape. One in thirty three men have been the victim of attempted or completed rape. My first point is that as a collective group of human beings statistics that high should be truly concerning. Both legally and socially we need to be of the mindset that rape is happening quite frequently and with things like the presidential election coming up, topics as important and heavy as rape and how they will be handled needs to be considered. My second point is that beyond decreasing the frequency of rape, we also need to consider how we treat rape.
Of these women raped, how many of them were blamed for their own rape? How many were told, “Well, you drank too much” or “You shouldn’t have worn that skirt”? If a male claims he was raped, he's faced with a whole other category of victim blaming comments, like, "you're a dude, you should have been able to stop it" or "you got laid by a chick, just be happy".
My favorite is the classic “I just don’t believe you, you must be lying to get attention.” That is seriously the society we live in.
It is truly sickening how many times females and males are blamed for their own rape.
Our society seems to have adopted a rape culture mindset, which enables rape by normalizing it through societal attitudes. Examples of rape culture in our society specifically are victim blaming, , rape jokes, the fact that society teaches people to not be raped rather than teaching people not to rape (big difference!!), and justifying rape ("boys will be boys"). There is no cause of rape beyond a rapist.
Rape can never be justified, period.
If we can more clearly define rape and actually have set punishments for this action, perhaps I wouldn’t have to worry about if it were to happen to me, or if it so unfortunately did, who would believe me.
So, in order to destroy this awful attitude, let’s help our girls (and guys) out.
Seriously, take care of people. It can be so easy!
It’s as simple as noticing the girl looking uncomfortable and cornered in a party basement or the girl falling over drunk and the group of guys noticing her. I will end this with a quote meant to inspire us all to end rape culture and help everyone out;
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” (Gandhi).
