I have been single my entire life.
And whenever I share my perpetual singleness with other people, they always give me that look. You know that look you give people when they share that their dog just died? The "Oh, I am soooooo sorry" look? Yeah, that's the look I get.
Friends, trying their hardest to be helpful, will offer any number of solutions to my so-called "problem."
"Join Tinder," they'll say. Or ChristianMingle, or Mouse Mingle, or PlentyofFish. The list is seemingly endless.
Well, in a world where my friends, the media, television, movies, and music tell me that the key to a happy life is to be dating someone ... a world where all my friends are seemingly married, engaged, or in a long term relationship, I am here to tell you one thing.
Public service announcement: IT IS OKAY TO BE SINGLE.
Despite everyone seeming to think that my singleness is a contagious disease, I am quite satisfied with my lot in life. I may not have a significant other, but I have a college degree (well, almost), a family that will stick by me no matter what craziness I get myself into, and some wonderful friends. I've worked for Disney, traveled a bit, met some cool people ... and I did all of these things without another person in my life.
To all of my friends in a relationship, please be respectful towards your single friends. Just because we are single does not mean we are actively seeking relationship advice. The words "I am single" does not denote, "teach me how to get a man/woman/significant other/vegetable/mineral/zombie/unicorn/whatever you're into."
To all of my single friends, try and change your relationship status from "single and actively looking" to "single and happy." Focus on finding yourself. We live in an age where so many of us get wrapped up in other people, being with other people, and what other people think of us that we often lose sight of ourselves. And you would be surprised what sorts of amazing people can walk into your life when you simply let fate take charge of things.
Take it from someone who has been single their entire life, when you are single ... you are without limitations. The only person you have to keep happy is yourself. So go ahead and travel, take a career risk to propel yourself to new levels, eat an entire pizza, see that cheesy chick flick you've been wanting to see. The sky is the limit! The old adage says that you can not be happy with another person until you are happy with yourself. So maybe, just maybe, by focusing on you ... you'll find your significant other rather than another ex or two to add to the list of complete duds.
I am moving to Orlando in January. And my plan is to be single and happy. Unlike so many of my peers, I will not be actively looking for a relationship. It took me twenty-two years to finally be happy in my own skin, and I believe the overwhelming pressure to be in a relationship factors into my past insecurities. It became so easy to justify my singleness with statements like "not ___ enough" or "too ___" that I would tear myself down on a regular basis. Not pretty enough, too annoying, not friendly enough, too fat, not trying hard enough. I'm finally in a position where I love myself and all it took was this small change in mentality. So I'm going to Orlando single and happy, not single and actively looking. And I'll see where fate takes me. Even if I'm still perpetually single in five years time, at least I can be happy with myself. And I challenge you all to try and do the same.
