When I tell people that I am in a long distance relationship they look at me as if I have beaten the odds or something; they seem genuinely surprised that I am still in a relationship. I mean distance isn't like an illness that you beat, so I don't understand why people make it seem like maintaining a long distance relationship is such a big deal.
Don't get me wrong, being in a long distance relationship does have its downsides, but it also has a lot of benefits that are hard to understand when you are missing someone who is hundreds of miles away. I wanted to take this time to lay out the pros and cons of being in a long distance relationship for those of you that are in one or may be in one someday.
Let's start with the CONS since they are so easily identifiable.
1. You miss out on doing things that other couples do.
While you can still Face-time and watch Netflix together, you and your bf/gf can't actually do 'couple activities.' What I mean by that is you cannot go apple picking during the Fall, you can't stay up really late snuggling while watching Netflix and eating pizza, you can't go on dinner dates, etc. It sucks when you have to miss out on doing these activities or find a friend to be a replacement bf/gf.
2. You can't have hugs and kisses whenever you please.
People don't hug each other enough in my opinion. You can only really rely on your significant other for unlimited hugs, and kisses, which is why it sucks when they are so far away. You end up hugging yourself, which doesn't result in the same satisfaction and is borderline creepy.
3. The person who makes you the happiest isn't physically there to comfort you when you're sad.
Although your significant other can still comfort you when you're upset through text messages, phone calls or video chat, it just isn't the same thing as physically being there by your side. It's nice to have someone with you when you're going through something, even if you don't talk about your problems. Just having them present is enough.
4. You feel like a part of you is missing.
Even if you go through each day as if everything is fine, deep down there is something missing. Telling your bf/gf about your days activities isn't the same as experiencing these things with them. Regardless of how okay you are with them being hours away, you never truly feel like all of you is there, because they have become such a huge part of you.
Now let's focus on the positive side of long distance relationships. Here are some of the PROS:
1. You are able to focus on yourself.
It's no secret that people spend a ridiculous amount of time with their significant other but for good reason usually. When you're in a long distance relationship, it is only natural to want to soak up every second you can spend with your bf/gf when they're around. However, when they are gone it gives you the opportunity to spend some 'you time' and focus on bettering yourself in any way you decide to.
2. You can spend time with your friends.
Friends of people in relationships usually feel as if they've been forgotten about because of how much time couples spend together. Being in a long distance relationship allows you to spend a lot of much needed quality time with your good friends once your significant other returns to being far, far away. On a side note, anyone in a relationship should spend time with their friends regardless if their bf/gf is around or not.
3. Your relationship is tested.
Being in a relationship is much different than being in a long distance relationship. Long distance relationships truly test whether or not you trust and love the person that you're with. Remember, you are not physically with your bf/gf, so you do not know what they are up to; you only know what they tell you. Being hours/miles away from the one you love can honestly strengthen your trust in and love for that person (or it can destroy it... but that is more of a con).
4. You realize how much you truly love and value your significant other.
I used to think that the phrase "distance makes the heart grow stronger" was a load of crap. Now I see that it's true. Though distance can make you sad and lonely it also can make your love for your significant other become even stronger. If you can endure being in a long distance relationship then you are likely to come out as a stronger and better couple who can deal with problems better than you could in the past.
So, whether or not you're in a long distance relationship, you need to realize that distance, as with everything else in life, has benefits along with its disadvantages. Remember that if you are genuinely in love with your significant other, then distance is just a speed bump in your journey together.
