The Twelve Phases Every Procrastinator Goes Through

I am a master of procrastination. From schoolwork to Odyssey articles, it always seems like I wait until the very last second to get things done. It isn't the greatest way to live; I am constantly stressed about what I need to do to the point of paralyzation, which makes it next to impossible to start something. In fact, I started writing this article because I'm avoiding writing a paper (that counts for 35% of my grade) that is due in two days. Some people would say I have a problem, and to those people I would say: yes. I do indeed have a problem. If you're a chronic procrastinator like me, then you'll recognize this seemingly inevitable cycle when it comes to writing papers:

1. Your teacher gives you the assignment

And you foolishly convince yourself that this time, you'll get it done early.

2. You drink a ton of coffee and get ready to work

Great, now you're prepared to get this assignment done on time. No stress, no fuss, no excuses. Let's get down to business!

3. But first you have to check Facebook...

And Twitter. And Instagram. And Tumblr. You don't have a Pinterest, but you've been meaning to make an account for a while, and there's no time like he present. After a few hours of scrolling through DIY projects you'll never do...

4. You realize you haven't done anything yet

And you should probably start your paper. But suddenly...

4. You realize how dirty your room is

So you decide to make your bed. And declutter your desk. The windows could also use a scrub. And you should probably iron that fancy shirt you never wear, just in case. In the midst of cleaning, your phone buzzes. Who could it be?

5. Your friends text the group chat about how well their papers are going and you try not to lose it

The shame and guilt you feel about being behind all your pals finally gets you to put down the cleaning supplies. You sit down at you desk and open your

6. But first, a quick snack

And by snack, I mean a five course meal, because you deserve to treat yourself preemptively for all the writing you're about to do.

7. Somehow, time flies by

And it is now the night before your paper is due, and you haven't done any of it.

8. You finally open a Word document

Only to spend 15 minutes picking out the correct format.

9. You work on the opening sentence for 20 minutes

Although your introduction is stellar, you haven't really made much meaningful progress.

10. The next couple hours are spent in a writing frenzy

Your fingers start to ache. Your eyes begin to burn. Panic sets in. This goes on until the dead of night.

11. It is 3AM, but your essay is finished

Your spirit may be broken, but at least you'll pass your class.

12. So what have we learned about procrastination?

You will probably put off your next assignment, making yourself go through the mental torture all over again!