Processing My Pine Ridge Mission Trip
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Processing My Pine Ridge Mission Trip

A summer that cannot be described in words, but an attempt to do so.

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Processing My Pine Ridge Mission Trip
Bethany Dever

This summer was a summer that was indescribable. Which is why describing it in words is going to be so difficult. Because of the life changing, eye opening, faith challenging experience, anything I say won't do it justice, but I am going to try.

When I say faith challenging I mean that God placed people in my life who challenged how I view scripture and how I live it out. God didn't place me in Pine Ridge to love those who made it easy to love them. He called me there to love everyone. The loving grandma, the alcoholic in white clay, and the man who raped the little girl you befriended.

He placed Ruby in my life. A woman who was so easy to love. A woman who loved so easily and quickly took the entire team in as family. A woman who is a fire cracker, sassy beyond belief, but has so much love in her heart. Ruby was a saving grace in Pine Ridge. A source of light not only in my life, but the community by using her ministry to love on so many people there.

God placed me in a community this summer called Whiteclay, Nebraska. Whiteclay was where I spent a solid portion of the day at my worksite, 555. Although technically not on the reservation, there are still many Lakota men and women who spend their days and nights in Whiteclay. Pine Ridge is a dry reservation, and because Whiteclay is not apart of the reservation, this is where people go to buy their booze. Whiteclay is where people go to forget, and where some go to be forgotten. Although some of the people on the streets are homeless, many do have a place to go home to, but instead spend the days and nights on the street drinking. Whiteclay is where my heart is. Yes, I had a construction project to work on with teams, but more importantly I had people to love, people to spread Christ’s love to.

Everyday I looked forward to getting to 555, not because I was super pumped up about painting or dry walling, or mudding… but because I got to see my friends. The men and the women I met this summer are my friends. The trust that they placed in me blows my mind. To be able to tell me their life story, about their suffering, their loss, to completely open their hearts to me humbles me in such an amazing way, and I am honored by that. For them to allow me to come into their home, onto their land, and welcome me with open, loving arms is incredible.

These people taught me so much. Arley taught me the bible stories, in maybe not the most accurate ways, but in ways that were a heck of a lot more entertaining than Sunday School. He taught me that our goal in life should to make people smile, laugh, and be happy. Despite all the pain that he has been through, he still wants to spread love and joy. He taught me that a chief always eats last—to always take care of your people. I learned from everyone what it means to be a family. Even if you aren’t blood related, even if you don’t always get along, whatever it is, you have each other’s backs.

I learned how to listen. I learned that sometimes that is the greatest form of love you can show someone. To listen is to show someone who believes that they are not loved, that they are not cared for, that they are. That you love them. That god loves them. I learned this summer that spreading God’s love to people who don’t know him doesn’t immediately start with John 3:16. Going into this summer I was worried about how I was going to spread the gospel, because I have never been comfortable preaching it to people. I have always been better with demonstrating my faith and then talking about it. God this summer showed me that that was okay. To love someone is to share his love with them. When someone realized that I was there, because I genuinely loved and cared for them, they immediately knew that I loved Jesus, and then asked me about him.

This summer I learned how to forgive. I have always struggled with holding grudges, but a few years ago after lots of prayer, forgiving people became a lot easier for me. Forgiveness became a conscious decision I would make, and one that I wanted to make, not one that I felt forced to make. This summer god challenged that in a whole new way. One night I was sitting and talking with one of my little friends when she told she was raped when she was 4. She was raped by a man in Whiteclay that I had befriended, a man whom I would have to see everyday for the rest of the summer. There were many challenges we faced this summer, but for me, this was the hardest. To know that a girl you love so much, was hurt and violated in the worst way, destroys you. With every ounce of my being I wanted to hate him. I wanted to go up to him the next day and scream and cry and tell him what an awful thing he did. But, I knew that god placed me in Pine Ridge, in Whiteclay specifically, to love. To love the unlovable. I knew that if I did what I wanted to do, everything god had worked for all summer would blow up. So I prayed. I prayed for the strength to forgive. I prayed to be able to look him in the eyes and love him like I had all summer. I prayed that when we had been standing arms around each other in a circle the week before singing praises to the Lord, that his heart had been changed. I don’t know how god did it, how he answered my prayers, but because he is so stinking amazing he did. 2 days later, I shook the hand of the man that raped my friend. I was able to look him in the eyes and not hate him.

If you read the statistics about the Pine Ridge Reservation, you may feel overwhelmed. May feel like there is no hope. That there is only brokenness and darkness. And while there is a dark shadow, and while there are pieces shattered everywhere, there is hope, there is light. Not everyone has it. In fact many don’t. But, there are some who do. I do. I have hope. And I see light. I see hope in the next generation, in the kids. I see light in Selena and Diamond and William. I see light in the way despite not having enough to eat, not having clean clothes, or a bed to sleep in, that they still run around with a giant grin on their face laughing their heads off. I see light in the way that they love me. I see hope when some little boy you have never met before can run into your arms, give you a giant hug, and then ask to be your friend. These kids have hope. They shine light. I can only pray that as they grow up, as they grow up surrounded by a lot of darkness, that their light overtakes it. That they accept the love of Christ, and He shines His light into their life, and He shines His light through them into the community.

I see hope in the ministries that are already in Pine Ridge. Places like Lakota Hope, Number 9 Community Church, Hands of Faith. I see hope in the stories of my friends in Whiteclay. Having them tell me they want to get of there, want to sober up. Even if it is their fifth time telling me that. Even if they tell me they are sobering up and then I see them the next day with a beer, at least it is in the back of their mind. I see light in the way that they opened their hearts to me. To a stranger, but who ultimately became a friend.

I did not want to leave this summer. My life was radically changed this summer in such an amazing, beautiful way. A way that makes me often wonder how I am going to go back to school, go back to life of privilege. I have considered, on multiple occasions, dropping out of school and moving to Pine Ridge for good and just continuing loving that community. But, I have since come to a place of a little more peace. I was born into my life… for a reason. I grew up on the mainline for a reason. I go to school at Pitt for a reason. I shouldn’t be ashamed, shouldn’t feel bad about any of that. However, as I go into my next semester, next year at Pitt, my mindset is a little different. I am not going to school for myself. I am going to school for Ruby. I am going to get an education in religious studies so maybe I can give Arley a little bible lesson. I am going to get my degree in communications for Selena and Diamond. My education is not my own anymore. My education is for all those people god is going to give me the opportunity to love on and share his love with in my life. My education is for Pine Ridge, Whiteclay, and wherever else I end up.

I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity, the gift, god gave this summer. I am not the same person I was when I got on that airplane to start my summer. My heart is in Pine Ridge, in Whiteclay. It is hard, painful, being away. Knowing that there is so much to do there and that I cannot be there to do it. All I can do is pray. God taught me the power of prayer this summer. I will be praying constantly for the beautiful community that I got to serve alongside of this summer, and I ask that you will too. Pray for hope. Pray for peace in the hearts of those who are hurting. Pray for strength to continue on even when you can’t see any hope. Pray for the leaders, the missionaries, the churches. Pray for my friends in Pine Ridge.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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