I have very few pet peeves, at least I think. One of them is genderizing objects and actions. You’ve probably heard or seen instances of it and not recognized it. A simple example that often happens, is a young boy picks up a Barbie doll. Within a few seconds you’ll see a parent swoop in, yanking the toy out of his hands, followed with a line similar to,“No, those aren’t for you. Those are girl toys.”
As a young woman I always liked to defy what girls could or were allowed to do. I’ll never forget the time in the 5th grade when I turned all the boys heads by commenting on a WWE match I had watched earlier that week. They were shocked at the fact that a girl even knew about WWE. From that point on I began to notice the trends. What was for girls and what was for boys.
As I made my way through high school to college, I realized that a lot of genderization had improved for girls, but not for our brothers. While girls joined football teams and defied gender roles at every turn, the boys still lingered behind. I remember guy friends being called ‘gay’ for having their ears pierced. Only a year ago, I got into a debate with my mother in the middle of a Claire’s. My younger brother loves sharks. At the shop, they had a pair of earrings that looked as if little tiny sharks were hanging onto your earlobes by biting them. My brother loved them, wanted them, and in return wanted his ears pierced. My mother refused. She said that other boys would make fun of him at school. I gave the argument that other children shouldn’t be bullying him for something he likes and it’s inevitably his choice. He left the store upset, believing he couldn’t have his ears pierced because boys weren’t allowed to.
It breaks my heart when I see things like this. Even if the parent has good intentions by trying to protect them from harsh words or bullies, the only way we will stop bullying of this kind is by teaching the younger generations through words and example that it does not matter what gender you are, anyone can pierce their ears, and this is not something to be viewed negatively.
Some of the other major problems I see with genderization is the negative image we place on feminine traits, the negative impact it leaves majority on young men, and leaving out people who do not conform to these two groups. First off, we are inadvertently telling young boys and men that female or feminine traits are negative. It’s unhealthy and allows for them to see women or those with feminine traits as weak or lesser than them.
The second is that we are not allowing these males to fully express themselves. By telling them that they cannot, we are taking parts of this magnificent world away from them, and in return they withhold parts of themselves.
My third issue with this system of organizing and ultimately diving not just toys, skills, or actions, but us as human beings is that we forget and leave out other people in our society. These are the transgender, gender fluid, and gender neutral. This classification of what is for a girl and boy only gives us two options, therefore individuals who may identify as something different than their assigned sex, those who identify with both, and those who identify with neither, are left out. We are excluding these people from our society by telling them if they do not conform to these two choices, they have no place; and in extreme cases, not viewed as a person.
Our society is getting better at being more accepting. But we still have a ways to go. So when you see a child take interest in something, don’t take it away from them simply because society has told you it’s not meant for them. No one’s traits, hobbies, or activities should be limited to those that match with their sex or gender. It is a human characteristic to want to organize, to put things in groups, neat and tidy. What we must understand is that we are not a packet of M&M’s we can separate by color. Humans are much more complicated and unique. And we don’t need to limit ourselves or each other by the boxes we create.
I hope this article will open up discussions for this issue.
