You are the "good girl." You obey your parents. You follow the rules at school and work. You're on the "nice list" every Christmas. You don't do the things that "bad girls" do.You are unhappy.
That's right. You do everything "right" but you are not happy with life. Being the "good girl' doesn't mean that you're the "pleased", "perfect", or "satisfied" girl. Other people may not understand, but the girls who are considered as the good girls face problems in life that can really be a bummer. In a society where we are finally fighting back against slut shaming and fat shaming, it's important that we recognize that the shy, "goodie-goodies" face issues that we need to combat. What kinds of problems could the girls who do everything right really be dealing with? Well, take a look. Here are three.
1. Being Stuck Up.
"She's so quiet." "She doesn't talk to any of us." "She talks to the teacher and that's it." "Does she think she's too good for us?"
Just because someone doesn't talk, it doesn't mean she's stuck up. Maybe she's shy, nervous, or just a quiet person in general. For some reason though, people seem to associate being quiet and being a "good girl" with being stuck up or self-absorbed. Maybe if you go up and talk to the quiet girl, you'll find out she's full of personality and not the arrogant snob you thought she was. Pro tip: When any shy or quiet person does engage in conversation, the response should not be "Oh my god, you can talk" or "Wait, you're actually talking?" That's incredibly annoying.
If you're the good girl then you already have one label: the good girl. But wait, there's more. "Goodie two shoes", "teacher's pet", "goodie goodie". If you're that way plus bookish, then there's the "nerd", "geek", "bookworm". They all suck and when everyone defines you by that label, then the judgement comes pouring in. There's another label that may only apply to the single good girls out there: Virgin. This one is tough. Society sends so many mixed messages about this. Some media and people may praise you or respect you for your personal decisions but lots of times that's not the case.
Remember in "Hocus Pocus." Max was a "Virgin." He was treated like that made him an alien or something throughout the entire movie. Also, just read "Cosmopolitan" magazine. Articles about being a virgin, or even single make it seem like it's some unfortunate disease you need to remedy right away. I recently read an article on TotalSororitymove.com. It was defining the different kinds of sororities. In one category, it described a sorority that's full of virgins. These were the sorority girls that are nice to everyone but have no backbone or fun. Wow. I'm sure any good girl or, "virgin" will feel empowered after reading that. If you have lots of sex, you shouldn't be shamed or judged. If you don't have sex at all, you shouldn't be shamed or judged. End of story.
3. No fun.
Okay, so there's this girl. She's a goodie-goodie. She doesn't go out a lot. She's a teacher's pet.
She won't be any fun.
She'll probably snitch.
Right? Because every girl aspires to be Randall from "Recess" right? Wrong. Just like assuming that she is stuck up, it's wrong to assume that a good girl doesn't know how to have fun and if you try to have any fun, she'll tattle. I think if you murdered somebody then yeah, she'd probably tattle. she probably also won't want to hang around you ever again. But if you're going out to have some fun, don't assume she doesn't know how to have fun or that her definition of fun is ruining yours.Who knows?Invite her. That "goody two shoes" might be your ride home.
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I'm sure many of these problems apply to boys as well. Why do they have to exist? The world isn't black and white. This ain't Star Wars. We don't have a light or dark side of morality. But if you view the world that way then sure, you'll think the Jedi are stuck up, snitchy virgins who can't have any fun and that the Sith are crazy partygoers with no discipline. Where am I going with this Star Wars metaphor? Oh yeah. People are like ogres. Which are like onions. Which have layers. A "good girl" can have fun. A "bad girl" can make good grades. Both can have morals. They shouldn't change themselves to please anyone or to finally be rid of labels, judgement, or being left out. They should be who they want to be and be treated with the same dignity, respect, and love everyone deserves.