Bisexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior toward both males and females, or romantic or sexual attraction to people of any sex or gender identity. For everyone who openly identifies as bisexual, we all know the constant struggle we have to face every day with the ignorance of the people around us. Listed are just a few of the common hardships we have to face dealing with our sexuality.
1. Having people think it's "just a phase"
I have never heard of someone thinking being straight was a phase, so why is it that people automatically assume that our sexuality is just a temporary thing as if we can choose who we want to like and don't want to like? I understand that sometimes people use bisexuality as a first step in coming out as gay, and that is completely fine, but that is a totally different situation.
2. Not knowing how people will react when you come out to them
Coming out is not an easy process. No matter what sexuality you are, the process of telling people is an extremely nerve-racking thing to do. Are they going to think differently of me now? Will they be fine with it? Everyone reacts differently, and unfortunately, it's not always in the best of ways.
3. Being considered greedy
Put it this way; I enjoy french fries but I also like onion rings. Who is there to say I can only have one or the other for the rest of my life? No one. Sometimes I want one, and sometimes I want the other, and that is perfectly fine! That has nothing to do with greed, and everything to do with personal preference. People are not food, but sometimes it's the only way to get a simple idea through one's head.
4. Having to constantly remind people that you are neither gay nor straight
"You have a boyfriend now, does that mean you're straight?!" Well, you're eating a salad for lunch, does that mean you're a vegetarian? Just because we are dating someone of the opposite sex, that has nothing to do with our sexuality "changing". No matter who you are with, you are always bi. That is the whole idea of bisexuality, you can be attracted toward either sex, not just one or the other.
5. Dealing with all of the people that ask for threesomes
Really? Really? Who in their right mind would think this is an appropriate question to ask? Obviously, a lot of people, because I can't even count how many times I or other bisexuals I know have been asked. There is nothing wrong in engaging in this type of activity if that is what you enjoy doing, but just coming out and asking someone solely because they are bi is not the right way to go about the situation.
6. Dealing with all of the stupid questions in general that people ask
In addition to number five, there are countless other ignorant questions I have heard including things such as, "Oooh, can I watch?" or "So which one do you prefer?" Neither of these are questions that you would ask a straight person, so what makes it right to ask a bisexual person the same thing?
7. Having people that don't believe that bisexuality is valid
It still amazes me the amount of people who don't believe bisexuality is a real thing. No, we do not need to pick a side and no, we are not confused. It is a real thing and just because it may not be the same as the sexuality that you are, doesn't mean that every other one is wrong.
8. When people assume that you are promiscuous and you cheat
Surprise! Just because we like both genders does not mean we want them both at the same time. I get really fed up with people being threatened by bisexuals because somehow they have "more options". Sexuality has absolutely nothing to do with faithfulness in the least bit. People of other sexualities cheat the same amount, if not more, than bisexuals do.
9. Not "looking" bisexual
What exactly is someone who is bi supposed to look like? Half gay and half straight? No. There is no such thing as dressing or acting bisexual and they can range anywhere on the spectrum from femme/lipstick to stud/butch. Their personal style is all that matters, there is no one single way to look.
10. Having people think you're doing it for attention
It is extremely important for everyone to realize that bisexuality is without a doubt, a real thing. There is way too much bi-phobia and bisexual erasure that goes on, and it's important to me that we get the same amount of respect as everyone else. I am hoping that I shed some light on this subject while informing people about common things we have to deal with and also possible misconceptions that are strewn upon us. So yes, we are real, we are valid and we are important.
