The most refreshing thing happened to me last week: a boy asked me out on a date.

I’m not saying this to brag or to tell you about the date, but rather to prove a point. Why was this such a big deal? It isn’t because the boy is cute, funny, or intelligent, but because being asked on a date is such a rare occurrence nowadays. It is no longer normal to go out on a date and chat over a meal or drinks. Going on a date in college is no longer considered the norm.

Our culture has slipped into a “hang out and hook up” mentality. Guys no longer call a girl up and ask her on a date. Instead, they text her and ask her if she wants to come over and hang out. This casual invitation to hookup has become the norm within our generation’s society. We are not offended by this overt invitation for physical interaction, but rather we are often flattered by this display of obvious desire.

It is easy to crave attention. I’m as guilty of it as anyone. There is something gratifying about knowing that someone finds you attractive. However, attention should be not equated with affection. Hooking up with someone does not mean they value you as a person. It is truly important to seek out people who genuinely want to know you as a person, not just the physical parts of you.

I’m not saying that every guy that you are interested should take you out to a five-star restaurant and shower you with expensive gifts. While this luxurious picture is nice, it is not sensible. We are young, and many of us live off of ramen noodles, so let’s be realistic. It isn’t about the fancy dates; it’s about the conversations and the implication that the person you’re with cares about you enough to actually get to know you.

It’s crucial that we as young people demand respect for ourselves. We shouldn’t allow ourselves to get caught up in this hook up culture that is further exacerbated by the normalcy of “Netflix and chill.” There’s nothing wrong with a night in with someone you care about, but pure physicality shouldn’t be the center of a budding relationship. Physical chemistry is obviously an important part of building a romantic relationship, but it is not the only part. There is so much more to a successful relationship than good physical chemistry. Instead, we must realize that trust, laughter, honesty, etc. are key elements to building a lasting relationship. Emotional investment may not be easy, but in the end it will make your relationships stronger.

So this rant isn’t about my date, it’s about the lack of respect that surrounds the romantic pursuits of young people in today’s society. If we continue to be okay with just being something to satisfy a physical desire, meaningful relationships will not be built. I’m not saying that we should all be out on a quest to find our future husbands or wives, but rather that we give people the respect they deserve.

Even though being young is often an excuse for casual hookups, I think it’s important to realize that the physical part of a relationship is so much more meaningful when it is with someone that you care about. Holding the hand of someone you have feelings for is much more exhilarating than kissing someone you just drunkenly met at a bar. Lasting memories and relationships that are built on a foundation of respect are so much more meaningful than momentary satisfaction.

So while I encourage you to embrace the freedom that comes with life as a young adult, I also encourage you to respect yourself and the relationships that you hope to build in the future. Be in control of your romantic pursuits and don’t simply settle for flattery and lust. It is so important to realize that you are more valuable than a night of Netflix and making out.