One of my favorite pastimes is analyzing anything and everything that might pertain to gender. Why is it that my female professors get interrupted so much more than my male professors? Did that guy hold the door open for me because he's a genuinely nice person or because he's been conditioned into believing he has to? Why oh why do I feel such an intense dislike for Betty Draper while simultaneously wanting to hug Don Draper?
It's a torturous game to play, and it's one I'm not sure I'll ever win, but it makes me question the world around me. It makes me see things in a different light. It also helps me call out a lot of bullshit.
Speaking of which... the ever popular issue of the Resting B*tch Face (RBF). Oh, if I could just take that phrase and stick it in the garbage disposal until it's nothing but a whisper amongst the wind, I would be overjoyed.
But really, let's dissect RBF for a second. What is it? Well, my savior Urban Dictionary (honestly, I've utilized this site more times than I care to admit. I may seem like I'm always in the loop, but Urban Dictionary is my loop. I am merely old and irrelevant without it) describes it as "A person, usually a girl, who naturally looks mean when her face is expressionless, without meaning to."
A person, usually a girl... yeah, I have a problem with that. I have a problem with that because not once have I heard of a man having RBF. That could be because a) the word b*tch is rarely, if ever, associated with men and/or b) men typically aren't criticized or called out for their facial expressions, or lack thereof.
An article in The Washington Post shows that the main occurrences in those with apparent RBF can be something as simple as "one side of the lip pulled back slightly, the eyes squinting a little." Thus, tiny, inadvertent muscle movements can apparently give off the impression that you are a b*tch.
The research in the article also states that, of the images studied, the same amount of "contempt" was apparent in both men and women.
"Which means that the idea of RBF as a predominantly female phenomenon has little to do with facial physiology and more to do with social norms."
Fascinating, isn't it? Oh, social norms, you really know how to push my buttons.
So can we please stop pretending that women have to be smiling and looking friendly 24/7? Can we stop telling women to "smile" when they really don't have to? Can we stop painting women as b*tches because they don't prance around like the women in tampon commercials?
And, perhaps above all, can we as women stop using RBF as yet another way to subtlety attack other women? Can we stop contributing to the constant low blows against us?
If you, however, are loud and proud of your RBF, don't let me stand in your way. Reclaim it, embrace it, laugh about it, enact your autonomy and don't ever feel like you owe the random stranger you pass in the grocery store a smile when all you're really thinking about is getting home so you can take your pants off.
