Ten years ago all a student needed to do in order to get accepted into a good university was have a decent GPA and personal statement, but the competitive nature of universities today has made it much more difficult than that. High school students now build their application for universities from freshman year and pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars for SAT preparations and retakes. AP classes no longer feel optional to take, and even then you need to go above and beyond to prove you’re capable to handle college. On top of that you’re expected to demonstrate how exceptionally different you are from all the other applicants who are also struggling to differentiate themselves in their personal statements.

This pressure to impress rolls over once you enroll in college and spend another four years working to build your resume for a future employer. It’s now an unspoken requirement that from year one students must dive into extracurricular activities to create their competitive advantage before they enter the job market. Students are expected to join clubs, gain leadership positions, have internships, volunteer, work, and bring exceptional grades while still attempting to manage a couple hours of sleep a night. And if you’re especially lucky, you may manage to have a social life too. And what happens if you feel like you aren’t living up the expected standard of excellence your employer expects you to have before you graduate? Well, probably crippling anxiety about the future and if you’ll ever measure up to be the most unique and qualified butterfly for the job.

I think every business speaker I’ve ever listened to hasn’t finished without screaming “NETWORK” in our faces and reiterating, “it’s not what you know, its who you know.” Now the pressure to be a social butterfly is also a requirement. Although I consider myself an “extroverted introvert”, I still share the introvert struggle. During the “me breaks” I take to reboot, there’s always a voice in the back of my mind letting me know I’m wasting potential socializing and networking opportunities, and I don’t think I’m alone on that.

So what if you don’t have a long list of networks yet? Is it too late? Will you ever get a job? College student’s anxieties about finding employment are more real than ever, especially outside “STEM” majors, or other known as the “you won’t make that much money and good luck finding a job majors”. It’s no longer a fear to be an underachiever, but simply mediocre is bad enough when applying for a job. There’s nothing worse than feeling average; yet, we are all more similar than different. Do you see the dilemma? And what if you don’t have a major adversity story to token on? What can you draw on in your interview to prove you’re capable to push through a fast pace, stressful environment? Sometimes just staying sane while juggling all the responsibilities you have on your plate feels enough.

And when the interviewee asks what you do during your free time, and all you can think of is watch The Office then I guess you have to go find a more unique free time activity to share. And what do you do when your life feels like less of a life but more like a walking breathing resume? You drop the act, and start to live for yourself.

So the point is, if you really look into it, we’re all on the same boat here. We all have internalized this pressure of being overachievers to make us not feel like we’re good enough or haven’t done enough yet. That is not the case. Please don’t every feel like you’re wasting your time, or haven’t accomplished enough. You have, and you’re here and you’re still working towards finding “your calling” or spreading yourself out to your multiple callings if specializing isn’t your forte. You’re still trying to find a balance between it all, and let me tell you a secret, so is everyone else. Even the people with the master plan don’t truly know what tomorrow will bring.

So maybe you don’t have that long list of networks yet, or your GPA plummeted one quarter because of crappy teachers or personal reasons. Maybe you haven’t joined all the clubs you want to because you have work during those meeting hours. It’s okay, and it’s all going to be okay. Please take a breathe and understand there’s beauty in being similar and sharing a similar struggle. We all have different personalities, quirks, perspectives and other differentiating factors but at the end of the day we all share the same struggle of being students trying to build a future for ourselves. There’s beauty in that and there’s a bond in that. Yes the market is competitive but don’t let that kill your creative nature or discourage you to not follow your passion.

Join clubs, but join them because you love them not because you feel you have to. Passion and having a spark in your eye when you speak about something you feel strongly about goes a long way. And go get that high GPA and try your best because learning new information energizes and challenges you. Once you stop looking at the process of being successful as a to-do list and just start living for your soul, success will find its way to you. Don’t lose who you are in the process of trying to be what an employer wants. I promise being you is already enough. You’re no caterpillar; you are already the unique, qualified butterfly you’re trying so hard to be. Now embrace it.