Well, I thought I was going to get to avoid it. The day I leave to go abroad is rapidly approaching, but up until about 10 minutes ago, I felt completely fine. I thought I was going to avoid this heavy weight on my shoulders. But no, of course, the Pre-Abroad Blues are coming in at full force.
The shower is my thinking place. It’s the 15 minutes I have every day (well, most days) when I have a totally valid excuse to not be doing the things I’m supposed to be doing. That complete disconnect from the outside world just makes you think. Tonight, I had a startling thought. This is one of my last showers living in this house. I’m leaving school in just a few weeks to go abroad for an entire semester, and I will never live here again. I got depressed. Then I realized that the coconut scent of my Hello Hydration Herbal Essences shampoo is forever ruined, because now, anytime I use it, I will be reminded of the amazing 'sharties' (shower parties for those of you that couldn’t put that together) with my sorority sisters, and how I can never go back to that time. This has happened once before, in middle school, when I thought it was cool to use Chocolate Axe body wash at camp. Now all I can think about when I smell Chocolate Axe is the time a cute boy told me it “freaked him out that I smelled like a dude.”
Anyway, now my favorite shampoo is ruined, I’m going abroad, and I’m depressed. That was when the Blues started.
Ever since then, I feel like I’m saying my final goodbyes to everything I see:
Goodbye to the apple juice dispenser in the kitchen, I will miss you dearly.
Goodbye to the kitchen boy, you really are the one that got away ;).
Goodbye to the grilled cheese on Fridays, I will never forget you.
Then I realized everything I will miss is food-related. I decided to give myself a free pass, seeing as how I am picking up on my own and moving to a foreign country where even the food at McDonald's will taste unfamiliar.
I am about to move hours and hours away from my family and immerse myself in a culture that is completely unfamiliar. My friends are traveling all around the world, and communication will be tough. Thinking about how long it will be until I see them next makes my stomach turn. Not to mention the world isn’t really a safe place to be right now, and that scares the hell out of me (and my mom).
On top of it all, I have been lying to myself for years that I can speak Spanish. I can’t speak Spanish!
I am also, however, about to embark on the journey of a lifetime. I’m about to experience new things, try new foods, overcome fears, and fall in love a very hot foreign man (just a prediction). Oh, and a drinking age basically doesn’t exist, so that doesn’t hurt either! It’s true, what they say. Corny, but so true. How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
