Just a little over a year ago, I started yet another journey in my short, but generous, life. A journey in which I was determined to ensure would be a good one. This journey was college. With college came many new changes and responsibilities, I felt as if I was ready for these new tasks but I didn’t quite know how I would go about it. I grew up going to church and I knew that I loved Christ and that I wanted him to be a huge part of these four short years. I had gotten to a time in my life where I had this love for him, but I didn’t really make him a part of my everyday life and myself. So, I set out on a journey to fix that, to rekindle that fire in my heart, but boy was I underestimating how much Christ would become a part of my identity.

When I came to the University of Dayton, my heart was full of doubt, fear and anger. I was not someone who I was proud of, I constantly looked in the mirror and knew that I had to change, but I didn’t know how. I was anxious about my classes, tests, making friends, and so much more. I felt as if I was completely alone. I was fresh out of a long relationship, had some family issues and I found myself working harder and harder each day with hardly ever a moment to catch my breath. My body was tired, my spirits meek and my soul malnourished. While I knew that Jesus was my Savior, I wasn’t living each day as if he was. I knew that he had a plan, but I had not come to terms with it. I was still angry, upset, and bitter that at the mere age of 18, I had more responsibilities than those who were newly graduated and obtained a Bachelor’s degree. It was as if no matter where I looked, I had trouble finding joy in the world around me.

Then, I found Young Life, well, Christ found me through Young Life. In high school, I had experienced Young Life, but I hadn’t enjoyed it. I felt as if it wasn’t for me, I didn’t enjoy being with tons of people, I didn’t enjoy loud music, but I relished in the bible studies and fellowship that it gave me. While I was timid and afraid of possibly joining this organization, I kept feeling pulled to go each and every Monday night.

During these nights, I realized the importance of a prayer/study journal. To anyone else, this journal would look like mere words and doodles of a girl who enjoyed the Lord. But to me, I see the pain, the hurt of a young woman who so desperately needed the love of Jesus Christ in her everyday life. To me, this journal is not just words and doodles of scripture with my thoughts and feelings towards them. Rather, these pages are the many twists, turns, hills and valleys of my path to becoming the woman of God that Christ has intended for me to be. It is filled with my greatest accomplishments, pieces of joy, deepest fears, tear soaked pages, words of sorrow and regret, even my thoughts and prayers for the wonderful people that God has blessed me with the privilege to know and love. Not only is it filled with these wonderful things, it is full of the newfound knowledge and joy that Christ had placed in my heart -- all by reading scripture and having fellowship with others!

This journal is NOT just words, it is my journey, my story, of how a sad young lady turned into the woman of God that strives to push forward, find joy in each day, and show the love of Jesus Christ to those around her. This prayer journal is not a sob story; rather it is one of challenges and feats. It is the story of a young woman who faced adversity and overcame it, a woman who may have filled the pages of this book, but is not finished writing her story and about her journey with Christ.

So here's to my journal, for being the canvas of my many thoughts and emotions. The little book that helped me transform into the woman I am today. While others may look at you and think that you are messy and old, I will always look at you with pride and joy. Thank you, for the constant trips to Starbucks, being my friend, always being willing to take in more scripture, and for taking an occasional bump and bent corner when I was frustrated. Thank you, for constantly being a source of light and reflection for me when I was down. So today, I say so long and I promise, that you will have many brothers and sisters joining you on that cozy bookshelf in the corner. For you may be gone, but you will always be a piece of myself that I will forever be proud of.