The hilarious and oh-so-wise Tina Fey once said, “Say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.” While that quote sounds like a lovely and exciting way to live, that mindset might kill me. My body rejects spontaneity like a virus. I love having fun, don’t get me wrong, but my friends know I usually need a decent two to three business days to plan any adventures they might want me on. OK, so I’m honestly joking (sort of), but let me explain.
The first and last time I tried being spontaneous, I ended up illegally purchasing a baby turtle on the boardwalk of some hot New Jersey beach. Of course, at the time I had no idea buying baby turtles off the New Jersey boardwalks was illegal because all I cared about was impressing my tenth-grade crush who claimed I needed to be more, quote, “spontaneous.” Needless to say, he was impressed for maybe a week and I never tried anything so silly ever again.
My lack of enthusiasm for spontaneous craziness (if you consider buying a turtle “craziness”) translates deeper than just impulse buys on family vacations. I enjoy knowing what lies ahead, and although I love happy surprises and trying new and exciting things, I often find myself weary of life’s tendency to throw curve balls at my neat little plans.
Last summer, life threw me curve balls in the form of a breakup. Heart broken and completely confused, I often found myself worrying about my future since the one I previously thought up had just collapsed. This was the kind of “spontaneity” I couldn’t handle. It was a surprise I couldn’t welcome and a hurt I couldn’t overcome. Above all, it was an ugly circumstance that steadily grew into a beautiful adventure.
The adventure started when I realized that I, Emily Grace Mewborne, really owned no control over my circumstances. I came to this realization sobbing on the stained, plush carpet of a hotel floor that summer. Accepting this truth allowed me to lean on the only One who never suffers shock from any circumstance because He controls them all with divine and gracious intention.
The breakup didn’t surprise my God. His perfect plan and purpose for my life, whether that includes a husband or not, never wavered after we split. The Lord didn’t stand back in confusion and say, “Oh dang. Well, I was not expecting them to breakup. They were #goals! Who is she going to marry now? Good luck to ya, kid.”
As swiftly as the heartbreak came, the Lord’s grace and love pored over me with even greater lavish. Through surrendering my own plans and dreams over the Lord’s will, I started my spiritual adventure with my Father. Drying my tears with one hand and taking my hand in the other, God walked with me through that season of rejection and discomfort. Every step of the way, He taught me lessons and drew me closer to Him in ways I never imagined possible.
“Count it all joy, my brothers (and sistas), when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.”
This passage out of James 1:2-3 became my model scripture as the Lord helped me reach that joy I prayed for so often. I yearned for that excitement James challenges us to hold onto during trials.
“Sure, this stinks,” I imagined James telling me. “But get excited, because God is being very intentional about what’s happening; He wants to grow you in your faith because He wants to be closer to you.”
This excitement didn’t build up in one day. It didn’t build up in one week or even one month. It took a lot of prayer, meditation and searching for my heart to finally admit this was transforming into the adventure of a lifetime.
So, friends, the way I plan to achieve my dream life is simple. I will strive to remain in Christ, seeking His will through scripture and intentional prayer. After all, His plans for our lives never get smacked with a curve ball, no ugly circumstance surprises Him and nothing stops His purpose for our lives. He wants only that we trust, love and obey Him, which often proves easier said than done. I thank God continually for my weaknesses in those aspects because in my weakness His strength becomes imminent in my life.
One line in one of my favorite songs reads, “There’s not a place where I’ll go, You’ve not already stood.” The truth in this line shone so prominently for me last summer. Why worry about the future when God has already been there? He’s literally already seen what’s best for you, so let’s band together in Christ to encourage one another to trust in Him and His promises.
