February, or as I like to call it love month, is in full swing. Since this is the month devoted to love and acceptance and adoration I have been thinking a lot about relationships. It seems to be a common theme so far this year for me, and no matter how hard I try to get away from it, it keeps coming back.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the qualities in my future spouse that I pray for. Although I still stand firm in my list and think those things are important, I am also praying that I become the woman that a man of those qualities is looking for. It is important to not only pray for your spouse, but for your own character and heart.

Something that has become very apparent to me is that first and foremost I am God's beloved. He loves me and cares for me. The second thing is that I have been convincing myself that I don't deserve to be loved, cherished, and admired which is simply not true. Everyone deserves love and to be cherished.

Now I say admired and not adored for a couple of reasons. When you adore something you have to be careful because it can easily become a god to you. When I think of adoring, I think of God. I think that there is a healthy way to adore and be adored. Before I can be adored, though, I want to be admired for the person that I am. I want someone to admire my qualities and who I am, not adore what I do or what I look like. The adoration should come after the admiration.

I pray for qualities in myself that my future spouse will be looking for.

I pray for patience and kindness.

I pray to be humble and to not boast in anything but Jesus.

I pray to hold no grudges and be able to let things go when they need to be let go.

I pray to trust my future husband and that my doubt will be set aside because my doubts come from me.

I pray to be a person of strong integrity and to be someone who can challenge and speak truth into my future husband's life.

I pray for the strength to endure through the good times and bad. Sometimes it feels like it would be easiest to just give up, but I'm in for the long haul.

I pray that I remain hopeful throughout this process because the enemy tries to convince us that we are unworthy, that we are undeserving, but that is simply not true.