We don’t always gain wisdom from philosophers, or novels or TedTalks.

Sometimes, we gain wisdom from our mothers or our friends.

Sometimes, we gain wisdom from our instructor at our gym that we visit one day a week.

And that, my friends, is where I found the best piece of advice I’ve heard in a long time.

“You have to practice self-love. You don’t just start out loving yourself. You practice it for a long time and then one day, you start to feel it.”

This. This is exactly what I needed to hear this week. Had she said this any other day I might have ignored her and forgotten what she said as if her words went in one ear and drifted right out the other. But hearing it that day, those words rang in my head as if a gong had just gone off between my ears.

Self-love is something I struggle with. It’s something I’ve never known how to do. I look in the mirror and I see something I don’t quite recognize. I see distorted shapes and figures. I don’t always see me. I’ve taught myself not to notice. I just ignore it and move on throughout my day as though nothing is wrong. I tell myself I feel indifferent and that it does not matter.
But, of course it does, because I matter.

So, I’ve been losing weight. I’ve been working out and running and digging deep into this image I see in the mirror to try and find myself again. It’s a work in progress, but it’s been happening.

So, when my friend, my trainer, said those words to me, I almost lost it.

I had been struggling to see the progress I had made. I’d been critical of myself and catching myself standing on the scale multiple times a day, a dangerous habit that I have struggled with for a very long time.

When she gave me that advice, I swallowed hard to hold back the tears that nearly began to fall freely, in front of all my friends. She was right. I don’t love myself because I don’t know how. I never really learned how.

So, this week I have been practicing, just like she said.

I’ve been smiling at myself in the mirror because I deserve to see myself smile again.
I’ve been trying to wear the clothes from the back of my closet that I don’t really feel comfortable in, because comfort will never come if I don’t try.
I’ve been going for runs, not because I need to to lose weight, but because I feel accomplished when I see myself succeed.
I’ve been smiling more.
I’ve been happier.

The image in the mirror is slowly starting to turn into someone I recognize. It is slowly becoming an image I’m not only proud of but an image that I want to be. I am finally starting to see myself again.

Without her advice, I never would have tried. I would have continued on this dangerous path where I tell myself that I am beautiful, and that I am special, but I never quite believe it.

But if you say something enough, if you practice something enough, one day you’ll get better at it.

Learning to love is like learning to walk.
We start with a crawl and then take each step one at a time until eventually we are running out the door.

Thank you, Rachael, for holding out your hand and helping me take the first step. You’ll never know how much just that one short piece of advice means to me.

I know this isn’t the kind of article people come to this site in search for. I know some of you expect to read about news, or funny listicles or find photos of cute puppies.
But someone, somewhere needs to hear this as badly as I did.
I hope this article finds you.

I hope one day you can love yourself.