Where should I begin?

People always say, "I've been through a lot, and it's been my past experiences that have made me who I am today." But, for me, it isn't what I personally have been through. It has been what my mother went through, my grandmothers, my great-grandmothers, and so on, that has made me who I am.

During this time of Pitri Paksha (where Hindus take the time to reflect on the great contributions our ancestors have made to our existence), I reflect on where I have came from and I realize that most of myself has not been a product of my past. I am a product of many pasts. It has been the pasts of my predecessors that has affected my life today. Here is some of what their pasts comprised of.

I've come from poverty. Dirt-poor poverty.

I've come from families, maternal and paternal, who were forced to be austere with their finances. Families who expected their sons to drop out of school to work and support their family, and where their daughters were not even allowed to go to school and were instead married as soon as they hit puberty. I came from a lineage where education was a luxury, not a priority. I came from a place where sons were simply expected to carry on their father's line of work, nothing less, nothing more. There was no room for progress, and if they had any control over it, there was no room to go even lower on the socio-economic scale than they already were.

I've come from fathers who oppressed their daughters, husbands oppressed their wives, etc.

I've come from a lineage of women whose husbands, fathers, brothers have not only not supported them, but in most cases, have actively stopped women from creating any identity or stronghold of their own. I've come from a family where husbands have actively denied their wives the right to achieve an education, to get a job far away from home that would progress their profession, and some to even leave their homes to get a job in the first place.

I've come from a place where abuse was normal.

I've come from predecessors who saw nothing wrong with beating their wives black and blue. I've come from a place where women feared for their life, had they questioned their husband's unjust decisions. I've come from a place where abusing children into thinking they were inferior to others and even worthless, was commonplace.

But, don't feel bad for me. I am grateful -- in fact, immensely grateful -- that I grew from such difficulty.

Having known everything my ancestors have gone through, especially the women, I take nothing for granted. I don't take it for granted my parents let me leave my home every morning, and travel by myself to go to school. I don't take it for granted that my parents, no matter how much it may squeeze their wallet or how much fear it may instill in their hearts, they still continue to support me in pursuing my education and related interests. I am grateful that I have grown up in a home where I was allowed to break the mold.

I don't take it for granted that I have a father who would allow me to go to school. I don't take it for granted that my mom fought, tooth and nail, to create an environment in not only which I could thrive, but one in which I could be happy. I don't take it for granted that all of these experiences have influenced me and consequently molded me into a resilient, strong, and determined young woman.

In fact, has inspired me to work hard enough to achieve a lifestyle where I know I can survive and provide for my future spouse, children, and family. It gives me the energy to stay up all-hours of the night fighting to understand that calc problem or that orgo problem. It reminds me that although I have come from nothing, I CAN and WILL be something.

That has made me grateful for every pen I am able to hold in my hand, every lamp that gives me light at night to study, every lecture I go to, every test I take, every trip I have to take for school, every meal I am lucky enough to eat, and the list could go on for pages. It fills me with pride to know that I was one of the females of my family who broke the mold. I broke this cycle of oppression, and I am improving life not only for myself, but for all the daughters to come after me.

And I urge you, that if you have come from the same, break the cycle. Break the oppression. Look at your demons in the face, whether they be people or circumstances, and know that you are stronger. Know that even if everything that came before you was filled with difficulty, you have accumulated the strength with which your ancestors toiled in the rice fields. You have accumulated the prayers your predecessors whispered as they laid in bed wondering if they would live another year. You are a product of their experiences, and there is no greater thing to be proud of.

As a daughter, sister, wife, friend, etc., we women should know that we hold one of the most important places in society. We are the ones who will mold the young, impressionable minds of our future children. We set the example for in fact both our daughters AND sons as they embark into the world, and whatever we choose to tolerate will be what they choose to.

You have the power. Use it to break down walls, break down bad things, break down bad people. You have the power. Use it and make a change not only for yourself, but for everyone that comes after you.