Up until recent years, China only allowed each family to have one child in order to control their rapidly increasing population. This law ended up preventing four million births according to BBC. I am a product of this law. I am forever grateful of this law because otherwise I would not be in America right now but I also loathe this law because no mother should be denied her right to having children.
Every story has a beginning so here is mine. In 1998, after birthing me, my biological mother placed me in a box and left me in a field to die (I was able to obtain this information from the police report when I was found). This was the harsh reality of the type of choice a female had to make under the one child law. In America, this scenario sounds so horrid it is almost impossible to comprehend. However, in China, this was a common practice done among women of more than one child or if they birthed a girl, which was unfavorable at the time. A girl could not work as hard as a boy.
I am a girl. I was the weak gender. To this day, being abandoned by my very own birth mother still haunts my mind. I was born in a poor rural area of China where there was no running water and their homes were small huts no bigger than a shed. I will never find out the actual reason for her actions. I can only guess and use my imagination. Was it actually because I was a girl? Or was it because she already had a child and could not risk keeping me? When I find myself pondering those thoughts, I stop myself before I over think the answer-less questions.This was the harsh reality of the type of choice a female had to make under the one child law.
Luckily, a police officer found me and gave me to an adoption center. From there, I was placed in a foster home for a year until my current parents from America adopted me. In my eyes, the parents I have now are my parents, nobody else. We may not be related by blood or look the same but the love and care I receive is equal to those who are biologically related to their family. My parents never kept my adoption a secret from me. At a young age, I did not quite understand the concept of being adopted other than the fact that I did not look like mommy or daddy. Years later, I realized being adopted is much more than just not looking different from your parents.
Nine times out of 10 when I tell people I am adopted, I get a sympathetic look as if I just told them I have a disease. I have seen the “I am sorry” expression one too many times. What people need to understand is being adopted is not some tragic accident. Being adopted is a blessing. Being adopted is the chance to a new beginning that one may not have had if they stayed with their birth family. It took me a long time to see that not all people were cut out to be parents and not all people have ideal circumstances to raise a child. I personally can not describe how jubilant I am to live in such a developed country. America is the land of opportunity, freedom and hope. There is nothing to be sorry about here.
All in all, I can not speak for every adopted child because I know that my adoption story is a positive one. My story is only one out of thousands and thousands of other people dealing with the same thing. For me, being adopted was the best thing to ever happen to me. I got out of a communist country and into a democratic one. I got an amiable family who has raised to with nothing but kindness and affection. Of course, I still think about my birth family and what they were like but the only thing I can do is move forward. Lastly, I leave you with this thought. "Blood doesn't make a family, love does" -Nicole Chase
