You can't pour from an empty cup. You must fill your cup first.
You probably don't need anyone to tell you that you can't pour from an empty cup, duh. But try applying this to yourself: are you taking care of yourself before giving and giving to everyone else? I'm guilty of letting my self-care fall to the back burner while I prioritize other people and their needs.
This only works for so long before I can't do it anymore. We all only have so much to give before we truly can't "pour into" other people anymore.
Maybe you've never heard the phrase "pouring into others" before, but it means putting effort into other people. I see this in my own life a lot in my friendships. It's vital that my friends are putting as much effort into the relationship as I am, and vice versa. If one is giving more than the other, you'll end up resenting each other and nobody wants that, but when we are taking care of ourselves before taking care of other people and our relationships, we will have much more to give to them in the long run, even if it looks selfish at the moment.
So what should pouring into yourself actually look like? It starts with mindfulness and knowing what you need to stay at your best. Examine a week in your life- what are the limits of how much you can put on your plate, how much sleep do you need, how can you best debrief from a stressful day, what is fun for you and how can you incorporate this into your daily life?
Take action on what you realize and that's what pouring into yourself should look like. It truly is different for everyone and you should never let anyone fault you for taking care of yourself.
This is important not only for your relationships but for what you pursue in life. You can't be expected to give 100% percent to your job, or any obligation for that matter if you're not giving 100% to yourself first. I know it's hard to make time for yourself in the midst of full schedules and burnt out hearts, but we have to. We're not meant to do it all, but I know I still want to try, so in order to do that, I have to make sure I'm at my best before I tackle anything else. The same probably goes for you unless you're superwoman and to that I say, I am jealous.
But really, if your job is something that you're passionate about, you want to keep it that way. Even if you're in college, you're probably taking classes for something you're passionate about, and you don't want to lose that passion. (If your job/ classes are not something you're passionate about, pour into yourself by making a switch to something that you do have a passion for).
If that job or those classes start to feel like a chore to you, it's time to reevaluate, starting with how you're looking out for yourself. Make the necessary adjustments, and I'm sure the fire for your life will light back up.
Start right now by asking yourself how you've felt lately. If you get the sense you've been trying to run on empty, it's time to pour into yourself for a bit. It's not selfish, it's necessary.
