Exactly three months and 15 days ago was the first day of the rest of my life – my college graduation. I’ll never forget that day, or as some might call it, the beginning of the end. It’s a time of uncertainty, anxiety, and lots of questions. Unfortunately, this FAQ page may not be the most helpful FAQ page ever created, because I still haven’t discovered most of the actual answers.

I was looking forward to writing this article from an adult’s perspective, but I just don’t have that yet. It didn’t happen when I graduated, it didn’t happen when I moved out on my own, so I’ve pretty much accepted that there’s no such thing as adulthood and all of our parents have been winging it this whole time. I still have the same FAQ’s about adulthood that I had before I supposedly entered it, so I’ll share some of them with you here. Youngsters, take it as a warning. Those who are older and wiser, please send help.

1. When will I feel like an adult?

It didn’t happen on my graduation day. It didn’t happen when I moved out of my parents’ house, or when I started making all of my own doctors’ appointments. It didn’t happen when I got my first salaried big girl job, and it didn’t happen when I started paying my rent and various other bills that come with (alleged) adulthood. If I’m being totally honest, I did feel like an adult one time, but it was short lived. After we brought our dog home from the shelter, it was a challenge to get her to eat. After two full days, I ended up meal prepping chicken, brown rice and veggies for her, and when she finally ate it I cried & shook for 20 minutes. Then, that one fleeting moment of clarity went as quickly as it had come.

2. Am I in the right field?

I honestly don’t know. Does anybody ever know? Why did I have to choose what I want to do with the rest of my life at 17?

3. Is it too late to change my major?

Hey! Finally one I know the answer to. Yes.

4. Do I really have to throw away my frat boots?

Two in a row! Maybe I do have the hang of this after all. Again, absolutely yes.

5. How do I pay off my student loans?

Never mind about that last one. In my opinion, this one is all about your morals. Like maybe you’re above selling drugs, but you’d be down to find one of those sugar daddies that you never have to meet & only communicate with via email. No judgment.

6. Will my debit card gothrough this time or is this when it’ll finally decline?

Perhaps the most FA of all FAQ’s. It’s a gamble, just like this big old game we call life. Fingers crossed for you though.

7. What’s a 401k?

My knowledge streak is over. I just don’t know.

8. When will I know what I’m doing?

Please let me know when you figure it out.

9. Help me?

This one is more of a statement.