The strange phenomenon of the Dude becoming a Dad has stunned scientists for decades. Among those who have studied this area of academia, scholars have reached the consensus that there is a series of natural progressions that contribute to this shift of the masculine creature, beginning with…

Step 1: Gets married.

This is technically still part of the “Dude” phase. He trades spontaneity for commitment, Natty Lights for scotch, and his George Foreman grill for the real deal. He can’t let the father-in-law think he’s a poser.

Step 2: Holds his baby for the first time.

The moment the new Dad holds his baby for the very first time is a moment of maturation. He acknowledges that he must guide and protect a fragile life… which he realizes is actually kind of baller *fist pump*.

Step 3: Buys a pair of lounging pants.

This officially catalyzes the transformation. Here, the Dad's endless sleepless nights drive him to develop an appreciation for comfort and practicality, which is what prompts him to head to the outlets...

Step 4: Buys a pair of crocs.

Never has the Dad been more pleased with a purchase. Crocs are stylish, have ventilation, have fantastic arch support, and some even have leather. He is now encouraged by his increasing wisdom, and he yearns to gather more knowledge.

Step 5: Begins reading historical nonfiction.

“Hey, Dad, can I ask you some questions for a school project?” *gives you extensive Buddhist metaphor on life*

Step 6: But he wants to prove that he is still fun, too.

*Cue "Bust A Move" at a wedding*

"Dang... Dad can dance."

Step 7: Receives a coffee mug full of candy for Christmas.

This is the peak of the “Dad” phase; he must put on a convincing act of enthusiasm and act like he’s not on a low-carb, high-protein kick to satisfy the little, proud, and eager Secret Santa shoppers.

Step 8: Becomes irrationally attached to a dog he initially resisted.

The dog eats a $3,000 check? It’s just paper! The dog growls at the kid who lives across the street? He’s a guard dog -- it’s what he’s trained to do!

"Never trust anyone who doesn't like dogs."

Step 9: Perfects the art of the “Dad Joke.”

You learn that the best types of jokes are like liver mush; at first, you’re like, “hmm… not sure,” but then you’re like, “maybe,” and finally you have to admit they’re pretty darn good.

Step 10: Bestows his wisdom upon his children.

After achieving this tenth and final step, the transition from the Dude to the Dad is complete. However, the Dude is never truly absent in the final product of the Dad. Rather, the Dude serves as the foundation of parental growth and potential, instilling within him an enduring and timeless swag.

Dad, you da man… *fist pump*