What it is like to be a prisoner of your own body; trapped in your own mind.
It is a constant state of almost drowning, but there isn’t quite enough water to finish the job.
It is feeling like you’re standing next to your body, having no control over what it does.
It is feeling your heart pound out of your chest; over thoughts you had no choice on thinking.
It is over thinking situations that could never happen, but feel more real than the people around you.
It is being skeptical of anyone who appears nice, for they may have some bad motive for being in your life.
Being a prisoner of your own body is not recognizing your reflection in the mirror.
It is hearing people say “you look so good!” when you feel like a swamp monster on steroids.
It is seeing others around you having a great time, while you can do nothing but think.
It is thinking of every possible bad outcome to every event even when you’re having a good day.
It is deliberating.
It is exhausting.
It is terrifying.
Being trapped in your own mind, is not being able to see what is in front of you, because it’s disguised as an enemy.
It is watching flowers wilt, when others are watching a bloom.
It is spinning in a silent room.
It is a panic attack at your favorite concert.
It is hiding from your favorite people because you don’t want them to know.
It is running away, but wanting to stay.
Being trapped in your own mind is being a prisoner in your own body.
Today, I might hide; but tomorrow I just might break free.