Beginning at a young age, I was always a little heavier than my peers. I have had to live with the criticism at school and at home. I was constantly made fun of for my size which has left everlasting scars. I was body shamed to the point that I started body shaming myself. I avoided pictures, mirrors, and clothes that would show my arms or legs. This practice followed me into college.
However, I discovered new shapes and sizes at my public university. Students were being unapologetically confident. There were women the same size as me that were wearing shorts and tank tops, clothes I only dreamed of feeling confident in. So I — dare I say it? — wore a tank top in public. It was so freeing. These arms that I always saw as big floppy pieces of skin turned into a statement. Something that I had always made an effort to hide was now out to the public for everyone to see.
Gradually, I let people take pictures with me. I didn’t tell them to retake the photo or permit them from posting on social media. I accepted what the picture reflected. This gradual increase in self-love is not perfect. I am constantly held back by my low-self esteem. There are still days where I want to hide my round stomach and stretch marks under mounds of covers where nobody can see them. There are even weeks where I don’t want to be under the public eye, but then I have to realize their eyes are not on me.
Slowly, media is starting to recognize plus size as a normal size. The first plus size woman, Ashley Graham, was featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated in 2016. More plus size actors are being cast and clothing lines have started to expand their sizes. Change is happening to make plus size people feel more comfortable in their own world. However, plus size people must be comfortable with themselves first. This is not an easy feat, and for most, it does not come naturally. We must take risks and step out of our comfort zone to overcome prejudice.
Many times, plus size people are seen as unhealthy. Others assume that they don’t take care of themselves and that they are lazy. I can only speak for myself and my friends when I say, we are strong, independent, and healthy individuals. My blood pressure is normal, I don’t get sick all the time because my immune system is poor, and I enjoy taking hikes and playing sports. I break the mold of the stereotypical “fat” person and push the boundaries.
Next on my body acceptance journey is to have a boudoir photo shoot. I want to celebrate my shape and really get outside of comfort zone with allowing pictures to be taken of me in a vulnerable situation. I want to be proud of my physicality and not be afraid of it. By taking these giant steps for myself, I hope that I can be a positive role model to others who are not proud of their curves, scars, and bumps. I want to show others that it is empowering to show them off. With small steps like these, we can change the way people perceive plus size people and break boundaries in the process.
