Please Stop Asking The 'When Are Y'all Getting Engaged' Question
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Please Stop Asking The 'When Are Y'all Getting Engaged' Question

It gets so old.

Please Stop Asking The 'When Are Y'all Getting Engaged' Question
Robert Norris Photography

Please. Every girl is begging you to stop asking them when they are getting engaged. Maybe it is because they are not in that place yet in their relationship, or maybe it is because they think they are too young. Or maybe it is because, well, that is actually not up to the woman.

Somebody asked me to write about this topic and I thought it was perfect — which is actually kind of ironic because I am in a place right now that is not for marriage (AKA college), and I am really vocal about my opinion on this. But, I still seem to get asked that question a lot. Getting asked that question by people I am not even close to are the ones that weird me out the most. Like hello?! Is it any of your business when I, a 19-year-old, gets engaged? Getting asked this question would actually bother me, too. I would always wonder why people felt the need to ask that question, or any question pertaining to a future of a couple. Or why people actually want 19-year-olds to get married when they aren't ready?

But, this particular person brought a whole new light to this topic. See, it is not actually up to the woman when she gets engaged, normally. I was raised to marry a southern gentleman who would ask my daddy for my hand in marriage then plan a proposal that I didn't know about. It was not expected to be a huge production but it was to be something sweet. This is a moment girl's dream about their whole high school and college life! Yet, she gets no say so in how it goes. That is the man's job.

I never thought about it that way. I never thought that it could be sensitive to some people. That maybe that couple you just asked has been having issues and you just made that girl feel insecure about herself all over again. Or maybe that couple has been talking about, but they guy just hasn't asked yet, but the girl wonders why he doesn't wanna marry her. Or maybe, asking that question is just a touchy subject for some if they have been together for a long time and the guy hasn't even brought it up.

I am not saying guys aren't emotional and don't want some fancy proposal. I am saying that maybe instead of asking that question, ask how things are going between them or how they enjoy life together as a couple. Another person's relationship timeline is not anyone's business but their own and I think if more people tried to see it that way then a lot of girl's unneeded self-consciousness could go away.

So, try to remember this next time you go into the deep questioning with another couple, you really don't know what they are going through.

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