Ever since I reached a certain age, I have had many people try to push me to be a certain kind of person, to fit into a mold that doesn't feel right to me. I have had people say that they can't believe that I am not an Education major, considering how much I love kids, and that, though English is a okay degree, they think that being a teacher would make me happier than being a writer. I have had people tell me that I should travel. They'd tell me that they can't believe that I can be really happy staying so often in or near my home. I've had people tell me that I need to chose a "real" job for my future and that though horse training and writing are nice hobbies they won't support me once I get out in the "real" world. I have had people tell me that I should be a vet, because I love animals. I have had people tell me that I need to move out and get my own place. They've told me that they feel sure that I would be so much happier on my own and that I am too dependent on my mom. Now I have no doubt that these people meant well, and that their ideas would work for many people, but I am here to say, please don't try to push me into a circle's space when I fit better into a square. Please know that my life is not shaped like the normal circular route that many 22 year olds take. I have sharp corners, I can't just roll along with the current of the common tide, and I don't want to. Please accept that I know who I want to be, where I want to be heading with my future and I know where my passions lie. I love being an English major, I love kids but I do not want to teach, I love animals but I could never be a vet because I don't have the emotional stability for that job and plus, I just don't want to. I will travel sometimes, once in a long while and I like to see new places, but I am a homebody, I have no wish to leave often or go far, I have no wish to move out any time soon, I am very content to be where I am and I would be miserable if I lived alone. Training horses and writing are very real jobs to me. I know they aren't big money makers or very stable, but I couldn't just go out and get a job that I had no interest in, a job that God has not given me a passion for, I would wilt if I had to work at something that I didn't like to do. Yes, I know that people all over the world have to work jobs that they hate, just to make a living, but God has not called me to this way of life, not now anyway. He has always provided for me and I just have to trust him while doing the best I can for my present and future. And there are countless other areas where I am not a circle, where I can't just be smoothed down and rounded in order to fit into the mold. I am unusual, I have very different thoughts, feelings, desires and fears then many people. I have had very different experiences. I am just not the typical 22 year old American female and what's more, I don't want to be. So whenever you think that you know what I want to be doing, or where I want to be living or what will make me happy, please remember, just because you have kindly planned out my present and future, if it doesn't follow God's plan for me, or God's desires for me, I will have to reject it.
