Being single, I’ve noticed that a HUGE aspect to dating is the financial. My inward response is why? As someone in an age group where not many people have money, I feel it’s an excuse to turn someone down, and here’s why:
Dating is not meant to be a showboat experience, in my opinion. I believe, especially the first date, is meant as an opportunity to learn about someone. I’m in college; my feminist self doesn’t have $100 dollars to spend on you for dinner, so why should I ask that of you? Even if you do have that money to do so, I feel guilty in that situation. Being put in situations where another person is spending what seems like exuberant amounts of money on you is uncomfortable, especially after just meeting them.
First dates should be an experience. I think this is something that our generation has forgotten. Sure, going out to the movies is fun. But do you really get the opportunity to talk to the other person? Not unless you’re the people who ruin the movie-going experience for the other viewers in the theatre. If you’re at dinner, do you feel that you can truly be yourself? Or do you feel overly aware of your insecurities while struggling with maintaining social norms of dating interactions in public? I’m not saying you should Netflix and chill. What I’m suggesting is that we change dating from relying on the financial to the original. I’m definitely not about maintaining a relationship over a texting dialogue, but learn about the other person’s likes/dislikes and create a date based on that. The best first date I went on was an hour-long hike in the mountains. (Let’s be clear, don’t turn yourself into the horror flick character that comes to their demise for stupid decisions. Be intelligent about what you agree to go do). What was great about this was that it forced conversation. With the introduction of technology, I think our generation forgets the importance of communication.
I would argue that most individuals would prefer and appreciate a date with originality and thought. After breaking the ice, you have a better opportunity of knowing the person better. I don’t know about you, but watching a two-hour movie does not tell me whether or not I want to see the person again. Mostly I’ve made a decision on the movie, not the individual.
I don’t really understand the social stigma of HAVING to spend money on another individual. Maybe it’s to prove they have what it takes to provide for you? I’m not sure. If so, I feel that’s comparatively dark ages to where we are now. Besides, what makes or breaks a date should be personality, respect, gut feeling and common interest. The cost of the bill afterwards should not be regarded as a decisive factor.
