Last night, right before I was ready to roll over, pull the covers over my head, and drift off to dreamland, a small ping echoed across the room.
It was my phone. Someone I'm close to, someone I love and cherish, was feeling like that moment could be the end of the line for them. They felt they had no more fight to give. And talking to them, listening to their words, understanding their hurt and pain made it even more clear to me that the fight is never easy, but we'll be damned if we don't try.
So, what is the point in fighting when you feel like you have nothing left to give? When you feel at your wits end? When the weight in your chest get heavier and heavier with each breath?
Remind yourself that you are not done yet. Your journey isn't over. There is no clock ticking, you have all the time you need to travel down the path to feel more like yourself again.
There will be times when the world seems like its falling down on you, and you fail, and you'll think "What is the point in going any further?". But that moment is not the time to give up. That is when you pull yourself up again, slowly and grudgingly, to try once more. Lessons learned and mistakes made. It is okay to fail, but it is not okay to stop trying.
You will be able to do this.
There will be times when you think that this darkness, this- emptiness consumes your heart, but I promise you, there is light within you. There is light around you. Every moment has a small flicker of life and joy inside it, that if you let it in, can help heal. A soft breeze on a cool day. The stars shining on a clear night. The smell of your dog, as you hold them tight and they lick your cheek. The laughter heard echoing down the street. Even being able to make it out of bed in the morning.
There will be times when you feel like you are isolated and alone. When it seems like everyone along side you has given up and cast you aside. Despite what you may believe, they are still there rooting for you. It just happens that sometimes we become so blinded by our pain that we can no longer see how our actions may affect those around us. Even through the frustration, anger, and even confusion- I promise you that those you love and care about are still cheering by your side, giving you that push you need to move forward, only they may not know what to do anymore. And that is okay. They want to fight for you, but first you need to want to fight for yourself.
You have to want it. You have some small ounce of power within you to drive you forward, and I know that you can do it. When you are ready for things to change, take the initiative to change them. Even when it seems like everything is spiraling out if control, and there is nothing left to give, please keep giving. Those people, who are rooting for you and cheering for you, they can help you overcome the obstacles and run the race along side you, but in the end it comes down to you to fight and continue to live life. Give your mind and body the chance it deserves.
First hand, I understand that life is not easy. That things are easier said than done. That it may come across like I know absolutey nothing about what you may be going through, but on some small level, I may.
All I encourage you to do is to keep on fighting. Keep on believing. Keep pressing to move forward. It may be a never ending battle, but appreciate the moments where you are victorious, where you have overcome, where you have felt a little bit more like yourself again.
