Three years ago when the boys rugby club at Grand Haven re-emerged, I had no idea what the sport was, just like pretty much my entire school. But I went to games, then I made my way down to the sidelines with a camera, and after getting up close and personal with the sport, I fell head over cleats in love.
In my senior year we started a girls team. We gathered on whatever field was open and learned how to throw the ball and ended up taking third in the state at the Championships. I loved every second of it and I know my life would be different if I hadn’t started playing.
When people ask me what’s so great about the sport, or why I love it so much, it gets me thinking and this is the best I can do to put it into words.
1. The team itself
There’s a lot of talk and even studies on what playing a team sport can do for you, but when it comes to rugby, I can honestly say it’s not a team but a family. We had athletes, musicians, ‘populars,’ artists, and everyone you could think of. We came from all over the school but when we went out on the pitch or got to practice, none of it mattered.
I guess there's something about having your head pressed against someone's ass in a scrum, protecting them from physical harm and trusting their exhausted arms to lift you into the air by your thighs, that brings girls together like nothing else can. This past year I made friends I won’t ever be able to replace. I’ll play against some in the future, and with some, but after our season, we’ll always be sisters.
2. I've never been more comfortable with who I am
People close to me knows I have struggled with who I am and what I look like. It’s hard not to considering what surrounds us, but that's to be addressed another time.
After playing rugby only for a season, I’ve never been more comfortable in my own skin. Thanks to this sport I’ve accepted my thighs as muscular and not fat. My shoulders are powerful, not manly. My arms are strong, not chunky. I had no insecurities in my uniform, and now I value everything I hated about myself. They make me a better rugby player. So I’m OK with struggling to find skinny jeans that fit my thighs and hips at the same time. Muscle is a fine problem to have.
3. It brings a whole new level of determination
I don’t know of any other sport as physically grueling in one match as rugby. It’s a constant cycle of run, tackle, ruck, run and get tackled with a scrum or lineout thrown in here or there. For someone who went three years not playing a sport, it’s not the easiest thing to do. And for a 17-year-old with the knee of a 70-year-old, it really wasn’t a walk in the park.
So when I could feel my heartbeat in my slightly out of place kneecap and wanted nothing more than to just sit and, well, cry, I didn’t. I had a game to win and teammates counting on me to push through.
In rugby, once you’re out, you’re out. You don’t just get a break or time to recoup; you have to be running on 100 the entire time. When you’re a part of something that demanding of commitment and determination, you learn how to do it no matter how much pain you are in mentally or physically. That is a skill useful on and off the pitch.
4. It made me even 'weirder'
I’ve never exactly been ‘normal’ by any standards, for many reasons. But adding ‘rugby player’ to my bio has made me even more odd. Or as I like to say, interesting.
To those who know the game even a little, you look pretty badass for playing. It really is known as a brutal sport. I never walked away from a game without a limp and new bruise.
For anyone who doesn’t know a thing about it, it makes for a great conversation. You also get a chance to brag that it truly is the only unisex game, completely the same across the board, and girls are expected to hit just as hard as guys (they do). That alone is enough to teach girls they can do anything their male counterpart can, something more young girls need to learn.
I only have one season under my belt, but it was enough to fall in love. I’m a different person since I started playing; at least, I feel like one. I don’t know of anything else that can impact someone in the specific way rugby can; it erases insecurities, strengthens your mind and body, and hands you a second family.
As a teenager some of the most dificult decissions you have to make are outfits, but the short shorts, cleats and jersey was by far my favorite one.
