Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a planner.
I don't usually like spontaneity or surprises (both the good and bad kind). Before going to college, I knew what I wanted to study: journalism. I wanted to be a reporter. But my plans had inevitably changed; I knew it would happen, so I wasn't too worried.
Now, however, my plans are shifting even more drastically, and it terrifies me. I don't know what I want to do in the future. I don't know if I want to go to grad school or where I want to start looking for internships.
If you're someone who likes to be in control, but you're having trouble figuring out the future, here's what I have to say.
It's OK not to know exactly what you want anymore (I know you have trouble believing that because I know that I do). All you can really do is try new things, or try delving deeper into something you already have an interest in. Discovery is the way to help combat uncertainty or a loss of interest in what you once wanted. You will find something that captivates you.
Don't be resistant. Don't stick to the plan simply because you made it; if you have the means, alter it. Change it to something that makes more sense. Be open to new opportunities.
Most of all, it's okay to be afraid. It's okay to be worried. After all, your time spent planning has (seemingly) gone to waste. Just know that it's okay for things to go unexpectedly. In fact, it's certain to happen more than once throughout your lifetime. Things are not always in your control, and sometimes, you have to let go.
I hope you will soon come to terms with change. I know it is difficult when your plans seem to crumble, but know that it is normal, and you will be OK.
