Before you stop reading and go back to scrolling through your newsfeed, I’m not about to get up on a soapbox and start lecturing you about how cell phones are evil because nobody listens to anyone anymore. I promise.
I recently spent a full month living on a rural farm in Guatemala through a class. We had absolutely zero service or internet on our phones, and if we were lucky the wifi worked enough on our laptops to check Facebook once every 10 days. At first, I missed it. I missed the SnapChats from my best friends, the messages from my parents, and knowing what everyone I spoke to was up to on a regular basis. However, I soon adjusted to not using my phone as much. Even now that I’m back in the land of internet, I spend significantly less time on my phone when I’m with people.
When we weren’t on our phones, we were all truly present in every conversation we were having. Nobody was saying “mhm,” to me as they scrolled through the same Instagram feed they’d seen seven times that morning, only half listening to what I had to say. I loved that everyone was genuinely listening and responding to what everyone else had to say. I don’t think anything on your phone screen is worth the look in someone’s eyes as they tell you the hilarious story about the time they ate so many cookies they threw up.
I learned that when I don’t just hang out on my phone, I learn more about people. People are much more willing to keep talking about who they are and what they love when they feel like what they’re saying is truly being heard. I left the Guatemala trip knowing so much about all the other students on the trip, because we all just talked to pass the time, rather than filling awkward silences by checking pointless SnapChat stories we don’t really care about watching.
That being said, I still use my phone regularly. I didn’t come home and throw it in the trash, and start protesting the “brainwashing robots of our generation”. I just think it’s important to learn when is the right time to be using it, and when you can put it down. The little moments that you witness when you’re not looking down are actually kind of incredible.
If you’re at lunch with your friends, just don’t check your phone unless there’s a real notification to respond to. You’d be surprised at how much better your conversations are, and how much closer you feel with your friends after just a few days of using your phone less.
If someone is talking to you about his or her passions, watch their face light up, instead of your lock screen. I think watching your friends laugh with you, face to face, is worth more than all the SnapChat stories in the world.
If you’re in line with a bunch of strangers, leave your phone in your pocket rather than scrolling through one of your feeds. People are so much more willing to strike up small talk if you’re not looking at your phone. You appear more confident and approachable, and people-watching is always a good time.
The thing is, our phones are awesome. They can let us talk to our long distance best friends, they can let you see all the cute pictures of your dog that you miss, they let you share pictures so your friends and family back home can still be a part of your life, but they can also hold you back in tiny ways. It’s just about finding the balance that lets you make the most of your friendships.
Next time you have the urge to scroll down a pointless newsfeed on your phone, pause, and see if you can get to know someone better, or appreciate something around you. At the end of the day, the online world will still be waiting.
