On social media, I see many posts that read along the lines of "be heartless or be heartbroken." The assumption is that being lonely is the lesser of the two evils, that guarding yourself and hurting others is better than being hurt yourself. When did our society decide to go cold?
I have let my comfort zone shrink in the dryer. I have let my risks deplete. I never plan on skydiving, nor do I want to backpack the Appalachians. I hate confrontation, and I would prefer to not email my teachers about a paper that I think deserves a better grade. Not everyone shares these discomforts. However, many people are afraid to love. I don't think many people see it as a fear, but it is. It is time to let go of our shrunken comfort zones. It is time to choose the risks. Choose love, pick heartbreak, because it is better than the other option.
You cannot live life being heartless. I mean, sure you can actually live it, but you will not live it well. Human beings are by nature social creatures that crave connections. You might be picking to not make those connections, but you really are hurting yourself. By picking triumph, by picking self-preservation, by picking yourself you are depriving yourself of human feeling. Here's the thing: "You are going to lose people in your life and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how much you appreciate them and told them so, it will never seem like it was enough" (yes, I found this on Tumblr). But isn't it better to have had some instead of none? It isn't enough, but it is something that you now carry with you. Sure, it sucks. It sucks a whole bunch. But it sucks less than not telling someone how you felt since the beginning. For some time you were holding someone's hand. For some time you smiled every morning because of one person.
You do not get to pick who stays. You do not get to pick who loves you back. However, you get to pick the risks you take. It's kind of thrilling. Your own emotional roller coaster. You will not grow if you stay within your comfort zone. Those jeans from eighth grade are not going to fit forever, and neither is your comfort zone. Mine sure isn't.
Think of it this way: eating half of your ice cream cone before it falls on the floor is better than it melting before you get one lick in. Share your life. Tell people how you feel. Let someone catch you. They might drop you later, but you can pick yourself up. You will learn that you are strong enough to survive heartbreak. You will also learn that you grew as a person during that love. It did not stay, but you get to keep the lessons and the memories and the feelings. You decide where to go from there.
I am not here to promise you that your next love will work out, or the one after that. Maybe they will. That sure would be great. But I am here to tell you that there will be another love after the next heartbreak. There will be another significant other to spill your heart out to. More arms to catch you, and more heartbeats to listen to, and more words to speak. Love does not end just because one relationship does. If you want love, you cannot sit in your room and hide from your crush. You cannot throw away your feelings. You have to try love, and risk heartbreak, if you want to find the lasting stuff. You will not find love sitting in your room watching rom-coms. I have enough experience to tell you that. Go fall in love with someone. Even if it does not work out, it's worth the risk. Pick heartbreak so you can pick love.
