Perspective And Advice: Having A Sibling In Heaven

Did you get up this morning and continue with your daily activities? You are already surviving and one step closer to becoming yourself again. You may think you will never be the same after this loss, but time heals even if it does take years. Most would believe there is no God when ones child or sibling's life is taken suddenly. We forget that God didn't actually do this, but we're quick to blame him when there is no one else to blame. Without God, we wouldn't have had the strength to get out of bed every day. I believe He wouldn't put us through anything we can't handle. If you don't think there is a God, then my advice to you is that what happened was an accident and it's easier to live a life accepting it than moving on with hate in your heart. This journey is hard, and although your heart feels as if it's rotting and lifeless, it's important to continue to live.

The first year is the hardest, but no matter the amount time, it will always hurt. The agony in the thought of what you could have been and all you have missed constantly runs through my mind. You didn't graduate, go to college, or even get married. Another Christmas, Thanksgiving, and 4th of July has been celebrated without you, and we struggled but survived. Your birthday has passed too, but it was celebrated with tears and the thought of you breathless. You weren't given another birthday cake or present, just flowers in front of a cold, glossy chunk of stone. Is this what we are to consider the new you? Will the memory of you slowly start to fade away? I'm scared I won't remember your voice or the way you sneezed. It's the little things that make remembering you so bittersweet. All I am left with is pictures of times I don't remember because we were too young and some of your things that still smell like you. I ask myself why this had to happen to my family or any family, but it's one question that will forever be unanswered. All I am sure of is that parents should not have to lay their kids to rest.

My whole life I was treated like a ticking time bomb. People were scared as if they would say the wrong thing and I would explode or they would stare at me as if I was a new species. Yes, my sibling passed away, please stop treating me differently. The only thing we (those who lost a sibling) want is to go back to normal lives—it's currently far from normal. Our families are considered hot topics because we are going through a tragedy that most wouldn't experience in their lifetime. They don't know the reality in what a family becomes when this happens. They either fall apart or become closer. My family wasn't lucky enough to stay as well put together, but we stand by each other's side. Family is important and so is friendship. We need that more than anything because we have realized love is all we got.