I'm writing this because the topic is always more relevant than it should be and it's bothers me a lot. Sexual assault is never okay; ut it has come to be something that happens so often that I'm not even shocked to hear the words anymore. It pains me when I'm being a listening ear to someone who is sharing their experiences with me and when they tell me the series of events so much of me internally feels the fear that they are hinting at-- the lack of control because unfortunately I've been there too. And on the contrary, it's unbelievable that so many times that I'm confiding in someone about my own experiences that so many can relate through their own experience.

There is a clear problem in this society because no one wants to talk about it and when they do, it's being spoken of as "taboo" when it happens to so many people. Statistics are frequently brought into these conversations or arguments of rape culture, but I don't even think it's necessary. People who are sexual assault survivors are not statistics they are people and not everyone is accounted for because it's terrifying to go forward with accusations. And even if everyone was accounted for, that doesn't matter, people are not numbers. They are living, breathing human beings who were used as nothing more than someone's self declared personal object.

I don't want to hear about the monster who was messed up enough to take advantage of a vulnerable person. I don't want to hear about the "nobility" of someone who decided to turn their life around after doing something so unquestionably wrong to another human being. If a person assaults another person while in a position of power they shouldn't be acknowledged for stepping down in their position of power, they shouldn't even be acknowledged. Stop giving attention to the attackers, cutting them slack because of their upbringing, social cues or any other excuse. I don't want to hear how the victim was a "mistake" that the attacker made because the attacker did not help make the person in anyway and if anything they took away from that person.

I'm sick of shame being put on the attacked. It is their story and they deserve to be heard. Nobody wants to participate in hearing about these awful acts, especially when they were not involved, but where does that leave the assault victim to turn? It's inhumane to expect that from someone who was in the wrong place at the wrong time to hideaway something out of fear of the stigma or being identified by the situation . I'm writing this because I'm tired of these privileged people getting slack because "how inconvenient" it is to ruin THEIR future. Let me tell you that experiences like rape follow the attacked person for the rest of his or her's life. Therapy and coping mechanisms will help, but never can one fully smooth out that memory and effects that are alive like a lump in the throat. It effects everyone differently, but no matter how strong the victim is after the fact, the burden never truly leaves.