This article is a cooperative composition between Keno Neang and I. In this you will find both of our varying perspectives on being in an interracial relationship together. Please be advised that there is explicit language used, and your opinion may not concur with ours but please maintain respect.

My perspective:

I remember when I first started dating Keno when we were in high school. I had to listen to plenty of rude comments and put up with a lot of stares. Coming from a small town in Maine it was to be expected. But nothing can really prepare you for someone to say to your face that if we were to have children they would be “ugly” and “weird” (totally not true by the way). I would hear comments even from my “friends” about the “odd match." However, we never disintegrated like most high school relationships did.

The comments fell away as we got older and matured. I learned that the opinions of others don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. In fact, I can’t be more thankful I was born when I was. There was a time when such relationships between a Scottish redhead girl and a Cambodian boy literally would have been illegal in some states. Can you believe that?! It sounds crazy in today’s day and age but the Supreme Court ruled interracial relationships legal in all states in 1967. That wasn’t too long ago. It’s scary to think that if we were born 75 years ago I wouldn’t have been able to be with him in public at all.

I think the important lesson that all of those who are in our position and are looking for guidance is that don’t worry about everyone else says and thinks. When it comes down to it, you love that person and that is all that matters. Giving up when things get hard or uncomfortable is a recipe for regret. Stay strong.

Keno’s Perspective:

Interracial relationships, now personally a few questions/comments/thoughts pop up in my head of what other people think. What are they? They’re cute. What is that? As a male in an interracial relationship, my response typically goes like so: f*ck off. Stop staring … Weirdo. Now this is what I thought initially dating my girlfriend. Fast-forward three years, I've gained some more experience and become wiser. Do a couple of seconds of traveling, and you soon develop your own insight.

An old proverb that you hear from older folks: “walk a mile in my shoes." Sounds too f*cking easy, right? Really what it should be is try walking 3,000 miles, and be confronted by some condescending old-school assholes that no one gives a sh*t about. After that-voila, my whole world of love changed. Now 3,000 miles over 1 mile is a significant distance. Metaphorically, for every step I tried to take it felt like I was going three steps back. Whenever I tried to run I’d always get lost and forget why I chose the people I love.

I was once asked why I was dating a white girl. At the time, I didn’t think much of it because race wasn’t anything I paid much attention too. What caught me off guard was the follow-up question of why I wasn’t with some other Asian girl. My only response was because I already have a girl. After that, it pretty much shut the whole instigation off.

Now why do I think or care about other people’s opinions? I don’t. But someone may be able to relate to what I’m trying to say. Whether it’s some kid who’s scared of asking someone out because of their skin or if they think that their parents won’t approve.

Love has no skin or color. Sh*t, not even a gender.

It’s abstract. It’s confusing at times and can sure be a pain. If you really do love someone then being judged by some asshole shouldn’t matter. Sure, it hurts your feelings, but that’s a part of life. Over time, words sting less and the bigger people in your life won’t seem as big. Someone who you adore takes their place and soon enough you share a world you’ve created to a point where distance, judgment or just some mean comments doesn’t mean anything.

Really what I’m hoping you might get out of this is, go for it. Life doesn’t stop just because of what someone thinks or what they say. In reality, they don’t care, and they don’t have anything better to do. Which is on them, it’s their own fault. Don’t waste your time contemplating over what someone said. Instead, think about how/when you’re going to kiss them again, be able to touch each other’s skin, have sex, or just even be able to see one another.

If there is anything I wanted you to get from this, it's that life is too short to care about what other people think. Just be you, whether that is with a person of a different race or the same gender.