Because of all of the conversation circling around the Stanford rape case, I wanted to share how the story has impacted me. When I first heard about what had happened I was shocked and disgusted. Social media sites were covered with different articles telling the story. As I thought about it more, I was reminded that crimes like these happen every day. Most people’s stories don’t get told. They are kept inside, hidden away in the depths of the victim’s shattered spirit. I was reminded that the world we live in is broken. And I am reminded of the hurting people I have known in my life. Was there any way I could’ve prevented their pain? That I could’ve stepped in and made a difference? These are the thoughts that haunt me. And so, I began to reflect.
What I have to say next you may or may not disagree with at first, but just bear with me. My grandpa has this saying that he will tell us, usually in regards to bullies: “hurting people hurt people.” It has always made me try to evaluate both sides of the story which can be really interesting. I personally believe there must have been something from Brock’s past that made him into a hurting person. A hurting person who took out his pain on another.
Do I believe that he was justified? Of course not.
Should he have received a greater sentence? Yes, I believe so.
But do I believe this kid is a heartless, spineless evil being? I don’t know.
It seems a little rash to automatically assume this, but I think the media likes to jump to this conclusion. Obviously what he did was horrific and evil, and his actions should be punished, but I often wonder what the other side of the story is. And not the story that the defense gave in court, but the real story. His story. The one that goes back farther than that night. The story that’s more broken than I think we’ll ever know. How did he wind up so far down? Did he have hurts from his past that brought him down this path of destruction?
All of my thoughts are just speculation, of course, but so is assuming that he has always been the evil attacker that reared his ugly head that night. My point in all this is not to say that Brock was the actual victim, or that if he was hurting that it would make things right or that the media has no right to be upset. People have every right to be upset. He did an awful thing to a young and defenseless girl. I do not forget the actual victim, I remember her story quite often. It’s hard to forget. It is heart breaking and a tragedy that will affect her for the rest of her life. So, just to be clear, he is responsible for his actions no matter what.
But my real message is this: How many hurting people do we pass by daily and not give it another thought? We are entranced by her story, but we seem to forget there are thousands of others out there that are passed by without notice. How many victims could would we help? Could we prevent future attacks? How many people on the road to destruction could we pull back?
Could Brock have been on a better path had he had a person in his life leading him to make the right decisions? Maybe. Maybe not.
But we stand to gain nothing from this message if all we do is keep our heads in our phones and scroll through the comments. It takes action. It took action to get the girl to safety. It is impossible for us to truly help others from behind a computer screen. Comments, likes and shares help spread the girl’s story, but they cannot help her cope or save her from that night. They are just words on a screen, letters on a page. We can get up and get out the door and I’m sure it wouldn’t take long for us to find someone experiencing very similar hurts. This world is full of “hurting people who are hurting people.” It’s time we took the time and the energy to form a companionship with those in need of healing. We need to support others to find peace with the scars this world gives. This support can only be given through a bond formed out of trust and love. I believe there can be redemption and healing in every story, so long as there are people willing to make it happen.
